echols:construct

Video: Torn

2006-11-15T08:52:00.000-05:00

You've probably already seen the video of Natalie Imbruglia's song Torn being performed in pantomime by David Armand. It's a classic.

Well, he performed it again at a charity event for Amnesty International - and got some help. Check it out:

Funny Pictures. Mostly.

2006-11-12T11:57:00.000-05:00

If you're like me, you delete forwards titled Funniest Pictures on the Web!!!!!1 right along with the ones titled Enlarge Your Goods!!!!1! Excitement is For Your Pleasure!!.

But Fark posted this site with the twenty funniest images on the net, so I clicked it. Turns out, they are pretty funny - and mostly pics I hadn't already seen literally everywhere.

The page is updated every so often, so you can check back for the new funniest images whenever you like.

Click here for teh laughs.

ectotechnica

2006-11-06T23:01:00.000-05:00

With as little fanfare as possible, I present to you my new blog:

ectotechnica.

It will contain the tech news and gaming stories that most of you never read. If you are one of the few who actually do read those stories, then I hope you find the new site to be a useful resource.

But I want to be clear that ectotechnica is for everyone - technical and non-technical alike. Even if you aren't interested in everything, I want you to be able to gather practical and helpful information from it.

I'll be posting useful software tools, time wasters, news, and plenty more. So if you're interested in keeping a watchful eye on the ever-changing digital landscape, then please visit often.

The site still has some kinks to work out, so I encourage you to leave comments or send an email with suggestions. Good or bad, I want to know what you think.

Thanks. Enjoy!

YouTube Gems: Crutch

2006-11-03T14:42:00.000-05:00

Alright. Time to get back to the business of posting cool things.

This guy is named Bill Shannon. He has a bilateral hip deformity called Legg Calve Perthes. Bill is crippled.

Have a look at the what being "crippled" has done to Bill "Crutch" Shannon's life.

Dean Takeshi: Money Talks

2006-10-29T22:48:00.000-05:00

But it don't sing and dance, and it don't walk.

You can debate who the winner of the next-gen console war will be as long as you like. But speculation is speculation is speculation. Tangible, here-and-now numbers are worth more to me than any amount of guessture on the outcome of this financial card game.

A bird in the hand, as they say.

Read this editorial from a+e Interactive's Dean Takeshi:

Console Wars: A Look At the Financial Results

Dean Takahashi, 12:38 AM

Earnings results have a way of shedding light on the reality of the video game console wars. They scrape away the rhetoric that tends to obscure the real picture on the ground. Sony, Nintendo and Microsoft all offered glimpses of the console battle with their recently reported results for the third calendar quarter.

Sony is in trouble. Its earnings plummeted 94 percent to $14.4 million because of costs related to its laptop battery recall. But it also reported a $369 million operating loss in its video game business because of start-up costs for the PlayStation 3. Sony’s game revenues decreased 20 percent to $1.4 billion from a year ago because of a decline in PlayStation Portable and PlayStation 2 sales, as well as a price cut on the PS 2. Sony sold 5 million PS 2s worldwide in the quarter and 3.89 million PSPs. Sony is sitting on a lot of inventory now related to PS 3 components. It’s nail-biting time in Tokyo. Sony has $4.7 billion in cash, and $3 billion in short-term debt and current long-term debt.

In Redmond, things are looking brighter for Microsoft. The company has $31.8 billion in cash. That’s a substantial war chest. Sales rose 70 percent in the Entertainment and Devices division, which includes games, to $1.03 billion in the quarter. The division cut its loss from $173 million a year ago to $96 million. Microsoft says it is on target to hit profitability by the fiscal year that ends June 30, 2008. That’s a long way away, but the company is making some progress.

On the bright side. Microsoft has more than 4 million Xbox Live subscribers worldwide and it plans on hitting 6 million by June 30. It will have 160 games out by the end of the year. In the U.S., Microsoft has sold 2.9 accessories per console and software sales are at 5.1 games per console. Those numbers probably don’t hold up worldwide. But I’m told that the attach rates and Xbox Live subscription numbers are ahead of plan. There is even some good news in Japan, since the limited edition run of Hironobu Sakaguchi’s Blue Dragon game – bundled with the Xbox 360 – sold out.

Microsoft has shipped more than 6 million consoles worldwide (3.6 million in North America, 1.7 million in Europe, and 700,000 in the rest of the world). This number is very revealing. It suggests that Microsoft has sold through less than 6 million and that shows it is behind on its goal of hitting 10 million consoles sold by the time Sony sells one (starting Nov. 17). Adam Holt, an analyst at JP Morgan, said in a note that sales were light and Microsoft seemed to be behind its goal.

By June 30, Microsoft is still targeting 13 million to 15 million consoles sold worldwide. But it’s going to be hard to hit the 10 million target soon. Microsoft has had a lot of luck in this round of the console wars. It executed an on-time launch. It had a big shortage of consoles through the spring, but Sony failed to execute and pushed back its launch. Why is there so much friction for Xbox 360 sales when Microsoft has the field all to itself?

Well, one explanation lies in Nintendo’s results for the six months ended Sept. 30. The folks in Kyoto sold more than 10 million Nintendo DS and DS Lite handhelds worldwide in the last six months, giving it a grand total of 26.8 million sold to date worldwide. The New Super Mario Bros. title sold more than 6.7 million copies worldwide. Nine DS titles sold more than 1 million units. The company is launching the Wii console on Nov. 19 in the U.S. and still expects to sell 4 million by the end of the year and 6 million worldwide by March 31. It expects to sell 17 million Wii titles by March 31.

Nintendo reported sales of $2.5 billion, up 69 percent from a year earlier. Net income was $458.6 million, up from a loss a year ago. Nintendo has $6.6 billion in cash. Nintendo is forecasting sales of $6.2 billion and profits of $843 million for the year ended March 31, 2007. The company boosted its prediction of annual sales of DS units from 17 million to 20 million units worldwide. Nintendo also increased its GameBoy Advance sales forecast from 2.5 million to 3.3 million units worldwide.

So, to recap:

SONY

Earnings plummeted 94 percent
$369 million operating loss in its video game business because of start-up costs for the PlayStation 3
Game revenues decreased 20 percent
$4.7 billion in cash, and $3 billion in short-term debt and current long-term debt

MICROSOFT

Sales rose 70 percent in the Entertainment and Devices division
The division cut its loss from $173 million a year ago to $96 million
By June 30, Microsoft is still targeting 13 million to 15 million consoles sold worldwide
$31.8 billion in cash

NINTENDO

Sales of $2.5 billion, up 69 percent from a year earlier
Net income was $458.6 million, up from a loss a year ago
Sold more than 10 million Nintendo DS and DS Lite handhelds worldwide in the last six months, giving it a grand total of 26.8 million sold to date worldwide
Expects to sell 4 million Wii units by the end of the year and 6 million worldwide by March 31. It expects to sell 17 million Wii titles by March 31
$6.6 billion in cash

Progress Report

2006-10-29T21:57:00.000-05:00

Well, as you can see, I haven't provided much in the way of content over the last few days. I apologize again. But I want to let you all know what's been keeping my attention focused elsewhere:

I'm in the process of starting a new blog - something quite different from the e:c.

Because I've chosen to use an open source software suite (WordPress), there is an inescapable learning curve to contend with. Whereas Blogger was a relatively quick-to-learn, lifetime-to-master affair, WordPress is taking a little longer to acclimate to.

Moving from basic HTML with a little javascript and XML to full-fledged SQL databases with PHP-hosted domains written in CSS is like upgrading from checkers to chess. Sure, the board looks the same and the pieces are the familiar colors, but making everything work is considerably more complicated.

At least, it's more complicated until you understand the basics. And that's what I'm doing: learning the basics.

It's time-consuming, but I have faith that this is a worthwhile venture.

The new site will be much more focused than e:c. I plan to turn my interests in technology and web culture into a useful resource for anyone who could use a hand navigating the often unforgiving digital landscape.

My hope is that I can bring my perspective on the things I love - like open source software tools, technology news, scientific/ecological advancements, and even gaming culture and tech gadgets - to readers in a way that is practical, useful, and accessible.

I want to help people grow their understanding of the everyday technology around them; to better understand and utilize the tools they have to be productive or creative or to just have fun.

Will anyone want to read it? Can I build a readership of people who trust my "knowledge" and perspective?

Who knows. I hope so.

This blog will continue to be my outlet for the myriad shiny objects that catch my attention every day. I hope that you who have come here to read my thoughts will continue to do so. But please bear with me if the updates are fewer and farther between.

I'll let you know as soon as the new blog is up and running. I want to have it fairly polished before I open the flood...excuse me...trickle-gates.

Thanks for sticking around.

Not Moving.

2006-10-26T22:01:00.000-04:00

Surely this is great news for all 3 of you who read this: I've decided to stick with Blogger a little longer. I'm still exploring other options for hosting, but I don't want to waste more time by not posting anything.

So you can start checking back regularly again.

Why does it feel like I'm talking to myself?

Moving?

2006-10-25T08:40:00.000-04:00

Although Blogger has been a great first host for this blog, I am currently considering a move to another host that better suits my tastes.

Right now I'm evaluating several options, so there won't be any new posts here for a few days.

But hang in there! I'll let you know as soon as the blog has settled in a new home.

Check back for updates, folks.

Tools: Pod Player

2006-10-19T09:49:00.000-04:00

Quandary:

I want to listen to the music from my iPod on my computer at work, but I don't want to install iTunes and authorize another machine. All I want to do is play music directly from the iPod and bypass iTunes.

Hot-damn solution:

Pod Player from iPodsoft.

With an incredibly small, quick installation, Pod Player is ready to use in seconds. The interface is clean and extremely intuitive. Everything you need is brilliantly packaged into this free piece of software.

For your zero dollars, you'll also get some clever iPod hacks and excellent iPod management tools. Pod Player allows you to extract songs to your hard drive as well - even preserving the ID3 info.

The guys at iPodsoft have done an excellent job with such a practical niche app.

Get Pod Player and love it. Then check out their other, equally intelligent offerings.

And don't forget to donate.

Salvage: Vol. I

2006-10-17T23:48:00.000-04:00

My failure to post lately is due in total to the fact that we've been transplanting our office from Louisville to West Knoxville for the last week. It has been one hell of a move, but definitely for the better.

Anyhow, that's why I've been remiss. I know you feel neglected, so let me salvage the week with a lovely collection of links for you.

Get down with these jonx (as Mr. Smith says):

I) Install Vista, Buy Graphics Card (Wired)

A PC needs an 800-MHz CPU, 512 MB of RAM and an integrated graphics processor that can handle Microsoft's DirectX 9 graphical interface just to run Vista, according to Microsoft. For a PC that is Windows Aero ready, the requirements are more stringent. A Windows Vista Premium Ready PC for Windows Aero needs at least a 1-GHz CPU, 1 GB of RAM, DirectX 9 graphics, 128 MB of graphics memory and pixel shader 2.0, which means an external graphics card or processor is almost invariably required.
During a Wired News test, an HP Compaq 8430 laptop with a 2-GHz Intel T2500 CPU, 1 GB of RAM and a stand-alone ATI Mobility Radeon X1600 graphics processor with 256 MB of video memory could handle the RC2 version of Aero. Vista's graphically intensive features worked well and the operating system's glasslike windows and icons were nice to look at, but in this writer's opinion, a 3-year-old version of SuSE Linux's operating system is just as beautiful.

With the stand-alone ATI graphics processor disabled during the test, the images became glitchy and the resolution poor. Attempts to play a video file with Windows Media Center did not work. The laptop's integrated graphics processor was just not good enough to handle the load by itself.

II) Billionaire Steve Wynn Ruins $139 Million Picasso (ReviewJournal)

The accident occurred as a gesturing Wynn, who suffers from retinitis pigmentosa, an eye disease that affects peripheral vision, struck the painting with his right elbow, leaving a hole the size of a silver dollar in the left forearm of Marie-Theresa Walter, Picasso's 21-year-old mistress.
"Oh shit, look what I've done," Wynn said, according to Ephron, who gave her account in a blog published on Monday.

III) Download Every Episode of The Simpsons

IV) Great Googaly! Sam & Max is Almost Ready (Telltale Games)

V) Can't Figure Out What That Font is? Use Identifont

VI) Ikea Lamp Commercial:

VII) Wendy's Training Video. Get Some Grill Skillz!

VIII) Nintendo Wii: Wins and Losses (IGN)

Every time a 50-plus-year-old stands in line to preorder a new Wii console, a Nintendo executive gets his wings. Look up in the sky now and you might see a few of them soaring around, giggling. Don't try to feed them, by the way - it's dangerous.
Clearly, the company that Mario built has with its looming videogame platform tried something completely original and both gamers and non-gamers alike are taking notice. Three years ago, the mere concept of a new game machine that didn't speed down the bigger-and-badder horsepower avenue might have seemed unlikely at the very least and financially irresponsible at the very most, but the Big N has done it, and we're all excited anyway. Not because Wii delivers a quantum leap in graphics, because so far that hasn't been proven true. No, you're lining up and in some cases your dad is lining up because the system presents a completely fresh way to play.
Wii has a lot going for it, including the fact that - unlike GameCube, which was very similar to competing systems - it's totally unique. People will not confuse its strengths or weaknesses. But has Nintendo executed on every move correctly with its new platform or has it missed some opportunities, too?

XI) Letter to Senator: Constituent Wants to Become Illegal Immigrant, Benefit

The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
309 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Sarbanes:
As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Immigration and Naturalization Service in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My reasons for wishing to change my status from U.S. citizen to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, what I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years.

I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year, so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of the last five years taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively?
This would yield an excellent return for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005 and I estimated a gross savings approximating $72,000. After the fine this would yield me a net savings of $70,000.

In addition, I would reap the other benefits of being an illegal alien such as free health care, avoidance of paying Social Security taxes, buying automobile insurance, serving on jury panels, etc. If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.

Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent

X) Virtual NES Emulator. Absolutely. Awesome.

Fin.

$100 + EB Games/GameStop = PS3 (Maybe)

2006-10-10T16:42:00.000-04:00

According to MSNBC, a $100 deposit on your PS3 pre-order will get you the solid satisfaction of knowing you could receive one of the overpriced consoles when they are eventually released.

For that kind of security, I'd gladly pay $200.

Ha ha! No, actually I wouldn't. Read here:

NEW YORK - GameStop and EB Games stores are going to start accepting pre-orders for Sony’s PlayStation 3 game console on Tuesday, according to their Web sites.
Due to “extremely limited supply,” the stores expect their allocations of what is perhaps the holiday’s season’s most eagerly anticipated gadget to run out in minutes.
A $100 deposit is required for each order, but even that won’t guarantee that a PlayStation 3 will be available when the console goes on sale on Nov. 17, according to the notices, because the stores have no control over production and shipping issues.

Throwback: Dinosaurs Attack!

2006-10-10T09:22:00.000-04:00

Even if you're old enough to remember the eighties, you're probably not emotionally mature enough for Dinosaurs Attack!

When Topps released this series of collectible trading cards in 1988, no one was emotionally mature enough - especially not the 10-year olds buying them.

Even today, in our world of wanton television violence and Magic the Gathering satanism...these cards are horrifyingly inappropriate.

Eschewing popular standards of "decency" and "taste," Dinosaurs Attack! depicted classrooms full of dinosaur-mangled children, kids being lunched on by herbivores (?) directly from their school bus, and my personal favorite: dinosaurs squashing a puppy right in front of a little girl.

Now that's how you do insensitive.

Sure, sure. We all remember the Garbage Pail Kids, and they were kind of gross. But gross in a cute way. Gross like fake puke and plastic dog poop.

Dinosaurs Attack! is infinitely beyond the pale of those other collectible cards. They are so ultra-violent and rife with scientific and religious heracy that no responsible parent could ever - ever - in good conscience buy them for their kids.

And that's why they're awesome.

Incredibly awesome to be exact.

Bob Heffner has put together the entire set for you to marvel at. You can find it here. And I-Mockery has a pretty hilarious retrospective on the series. Check out both of these links and delight in the sheer audacity of Dinosaurs Attack!

Here are some of my favorites. Please notice what the Parasaurolophus is eating.

Vol Access: 7 Days Inside Tennessee Football

2006-10-05T09:50:00.000-04:00

I want to let you guys see just what it is I do for a living.

I do this:

The show will air on Comcast Sports South on October 15th and 16th. Please tune in! Please tell everyone you know to watch. This is the first show of its kind developed for CSS, and we're pushing very hard to get the word out.

Many of you will be getting an official press release from me soon, but you saw it here first.

We shot well over 80 hours of footage for this show - and you'll see things you've never seen before in a behind-the-scenes college football doc. If you're a fan of Tennessee football, or of football period, you're going to love it.

Believe me - I'm a fan of both and I love it.

*I shot and did the graphics package for this show, but no editing. Dustin, Jeremy, Tyler and John made it look as amazing as it does.

YouTube Gems: Taking Your Own Picture. A Lot.

2006-10-03T11:10:00.000-04:00

It takes an awful lot of dedication to do what these two guys did: photograph themselves every day for years.

The guy in the first video, Noah, is the original inspiration for this sort of video on YouTube. Many, many videos of the same sort - and parodies galore - followed Noah's lead.

But the other guy, Jonathan, is much more interesting. You can actually see him age over the course of the eight years he claims to have photographed himself. It takes a while to notice the changes, but subtle as they might be, the end is dramatically different from the beginning.

Noah goes from artsy weirdo with wavy hair to Tim Burton to artsy weirdo with greasy and wavy hair.

But Jonathan goes from normal guy to normal guy with glasses to normal guy without glasses to Luke Wilson to pedophile.

See for yourself.

Transmogrify!

Video: Little Man Can Dance

2006-10-02T13:03:00.000-04:00

What can I say about this clip? It's nearly inexplicable.

It's nearly inexplicable and it's the funniest dance video ever to come out of Bollywood. Ha ha! The ending is priceless.

Little man + badass beatbox jams + mime-style dance skills = Shazaam!

Start laughing....now.

Awesome: Cheapass Games

2006-10-02T10:49:00.000-04:00

Who loves board games and/or card games?

Everybody. That's who.

Who loves a value?

Me. That's who. And you. You do, too.

Read those sentences with the correct meter and intonation and you've got yourself the next Oscar Mayer hotdog jingle. Instant classic.

Based on the information I just gave you (not the jingle part), each and every one of you will love Cheapass Games. You can't argue with facts, and you shouldn't argue with me.

But I'll let them convince you in their own words:

We here at Cheapass Games are aware of two basic facts about games: they cost too much, and they are at some level all the same.

If you ignore the clever shapes they come in, the cheap little plastic pawns are an interchangeable part of most of the board games in your house. So are the dice, the money, the counters, the pencils, and just about every other random spare part. These generic bits and pieces can account for as much as 75% of a game's production cost, and that cost gets handed to you.

If you had your choice, you'd probably invest a little bit of money in one good set of gaming paraphernalia instead of twenty crappy ones, and then just buy the new part of every "new" game. Yet most companies insist on selling you the whole package every time; it's like bundling a can opener with a can of beans.

Cheapass Games come with the bare essentials: boards, cards, and rulebooks. If you need anything else, we'll tell you. And it's probably something you can scrounge from a game you already own, or buy at a hobby store for less than "they" are charging you for it. Heck, if you need to, you can even buy the parts from us.
And once you've assembled your collection of generic small parts, you can use them for every new Cheapass Game.

Genius! It's almost like open-source for board games. Take that Parker Brothers.

You can buy any selection from their impressive library of games for practically nothing. Although they recommend that you support your local game shop, you can also get your Cheapass games from Paizo.com.

$3.00, $4.00, $7.50, $1.00...the prices are exorbitant. Seriously.

And although I've yet to play a single game from these guys, I most certainly will in the near future. I mean, how can you resist titles like these:

Captain Treasure Boots
Enemy Chocolatier
Secret Tijuana Deathmatch
Captain Park's Imaginary Polar Expedition
Landyland

Landyland? Ha ha! I can't stop being impressed at a name like that.

So, if you enjoy board games or card games or being cool - and you do - then visit the website for Cheapass Games.

Have fun and save money. It's better than not having fun and losing your life savings on a condominium purchase that's turned out to just be a huge financial disaster.

It's true!

YouTube Gems: Kids Wailing Drums

2006-09-29T16:57:00.000-04:00

I decided that I'd start posting some of the more obscure and/or remarkable videos I dig up on YouTube. Let's call them YouTube Gems.

Or I'll call them that and you call them crap.

Whichever.

To start things off, how about some unbelievable drum solos performed by kids who still pee their pants. Igor Falecki (4), Jacob Armen (7), and Jammaster Josh (3), respectively.

Drumroll please...

Awesome: The Alphabet of Manliness, Maddox

2006-09-28T18:17:00.000-04:00

I got a lot of excellent gifts for my birthday this year. Really excellent.

But nothing could come close to being as manly and full of total ass-kickery than Maddox's The Alphabet of Manliness.

That I received this gift from my girlfriend, Casey, is a testament to just how righteous she is.

By its own account, the book is so manly it needs to be shaved. It is, also by its own admission, the only book that guarantees your balls will be stomped. With a preface like that, how can you not immediately go buy yourself a copy.

If you didn't click the link and go buy a copy, then you clearly don't appreciate "good."

Alright. So the picture of a man punching a gorilla and my personal recommendation aren't enough to sell you on the book just yet. So read this and be sold:

The first chapter is titled, expectedly, "A is for...Ass-Kicking."

Immediately under the title is a picture of a lumberjack punching Santa Claus in the face. Enough said!

"B," naturally enough, "is for Boners."

I think the book speaks for itself.

But there is so much more information in the book. Seriously, seriously.

From "P is for...Pirate":

For those deficient in piratical knowledge, that is, you, here are some facts about pirates:
The only thing that can kill a pirate is another pirate.
Pirates drink rum almost exclusively. The only exception is for an occasional iced mocha or chai tea with 2 percent milk.
Pirates prefer BBQ- or Cajun-flavored potato chips.
A pirate's sweat tastes like whiskey.
Sometimes pirates kick cats just because.
Pirates think college is a waste of time.
Eye patches make chicks horny.
Pirates possess parrots with eye patches and pirated prosthetic peg legs.
A pirate's semen is indestructible.
Pirates hate all forms of dancing, except for breakdancing, which lumberjacks would agree is awesome.
All pirates have hair on their backs and knuckles. Women find this intriguing.
A pirate ejaculates fully-grown leprechauns (see Figure 1)

Yes. There is a Figure 1.

Still not sold? Then don't buy the book.

Time Waster: Sling

2006-09-26T10:17:00.000-04:00

There are an infinite number of addictive flash games that share the same basic premise as Sling: solving puzzles using logic and simple physics.

I like these sorts of games.

But Sling is different. It's more than just puzzles and physics; it's a neat little story, too. The Edis Brothers have taken a tried-and-true concept and pushed it just a bit further into something really fun.

Give it a chance. See if it doesn't grab you.

Ahahahaha ha ha. Man! You'll think that line is so funny once you play the game. It's a great "in" joke.

Funny: GirlFriend Software

2006-09-24T11:29:00.000-04:00

I'm not looking for any trouble here.

I'm very happy with the version of GirlFriend I am currently running. I managed to find an edition that is stable, doesn't conflict with any of my other programs, requires very little resources, and does more that was advertised on the box.

But this is still funny. Found here.

What software version are you running?

I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I've been having some problems lately. I've been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever as my primary application, and all the GirlFriend releases I've tried have always conflicted with it.

I hear that DrinkingBuddies won't crash if GirlFriend is run in background mode and the sound is turned off. But I'm embarrassed to say I can't find the switch to turn the sound off. I just run them separately, and it works okay.

Girlfriend also seems to have a problem co-existing with my Golf program, often trying to abort Golf with some sort of timing incompatibility.

I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1.0, but I thought I might see better performance from GirlFriend 2.0. After months of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had experience with GirlFriend 2.0. He said I probably didn't have enough cache to run GirlFriend 2.0, and eventually it would require a Token Ring to run properly. He was right - as soon as I purged my cache, it uninstalled itself.

Shortly after that, I installed GirlFriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs were supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it, it gave me a virus anyway. I had to clean out my whole system and shut down for a while.

I very cautiously upgraded to GirlFriend 4.0. This time I used a SCSI probe first and also installed a virus protection program. It worked okay for a while until I discovered that GirlFriend 1.0 was still in my system.

I tried running GirlFriend 1.0 again with GirlFriend 4.0 still installed, but GirlFriend 4.0 has a feature I didn't know about that automatically senses the presence of any other version of GirlFriend and communicates with it in some way, which results in the immediate removal of both versions.

The version I have now works pretty well, but there are still some problems. Like all versions of GirlFriend, it is written in some obscure language I can't understand, much less reprogram. Frankly I think there is too much attention paid to the look and feel rather than the desired functionality. Also, to get the best connections with your hardware, you usually have to use gold-plated contacts. And I've never liked how GirlFriend is totally "object-oriented."

A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of GirlFriend to GirlFriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident version of GirlFriend. He discovered that GirlFriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if you don't upgrade to Fiancee 1.0. So he did, but soon after that, he had to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he describes as a huge resource hog. It has taken up all his space, so he can't load anything else.

One of the primary reasons he decided to go with Wife 1.0 was because it came bundled with FreeSexPlus.

Well, it turns out the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0 sometimes prohibits access to FreeSexPlus, particularly the new Plug-Ins he wanted to try. On top of that, Wife 1.0 must be running on a well warmed-up system before he can do anything. Although he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with MotherInLaw which has an automatic pop-up feature he can't turn off.

I told him to try installing Mistress 1.0, but he said he heard if you try to run it without first uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.0 won't install anyway because of insufficient resources.

The Only Post I'll Ever Make About 9/11

2006-09-21T16:53:00.000-04:00

I am not a conspiracy theorist. And I am not a terrorist.

I am an American.

And I believe that the events of September 11th, 2001 were not what we have been led to believe.

For the love of God, sit still long enough to watch this. It's long. An hour and a half long, in fact. But it's important.

Make up your own mind. Just don't dismiss these ideas as abject propaganda.

This is the most obvious, right in front of your eyes evidence you could ask for.

I'm not asking you to swallow this whole. I don't expect you to take every word as infallible fact.

I am asking you to think.

As an American, it is your responsibilty.

When men yield up the privilege of thinking, the last shadow of liberty quits the horizon.

~Thomas Paine

Windows Vista is Fat, Stole OS X's Prom Dress

2006-09-21T15:13:00.000-04:00

What are those guys pointing at? They're pointing at Windows Vista, and drawing the crowd's attention to how fat it is.

Microsoft's latest installment in the company's flagship OS line, Vista is the next big revolution in the PC world. It will change your computing experience, and will change computing for billions of users worldwide...

But most of its good points are stolen from Apple's OS X, Mozilla's Firefox browser, open-source software stylings, and a host of other, better sources. And packing all that pilfered software into one operating system is like feeding Kirstie Allie stolen Krispy Kreme's.

Check these stat graphs I found:

Now, I'm not going to jump the gun here and say that Vista is destined to be a horrible OS. I mean, XP has its share of problems *cough* vulnerable *cough*, but it is a pretty stable operating platform.

That's as close to a compliment as I can manage to get.

Here's the bulk of a David Morgenstern eWeek editorial on Vista:

The complaints about sluggish performance in Windows Vista keep growing. While it's unfair to point to beta software apps—or whatever Microsoft wants to call them—the warning flags are already evident.
A batch of complaints reached my inbox following my recent column looking at Apple's Mac OS X Leopard and Vista. One message, from reader Randall Asato, warned that folks thinking they can run Aero on older hardware will be out of luck.
Asato observed that the demo games of Mahjong and Solitaire included with the Beta ran "awfully slow," even with the drivers written for Vista. His system has a 2.8GHz Intel P4 processor, 768MB of memory and an ATI All-In-Wonder 2006 AGP, which he admits is not the most recent GPU, "but it's no slouch."
He said he expected that most upgraders will be at the least forced to purchase a new video card with sufficient VRAM (video RAM).
"The only graphics cards that'll do justice for Vista Aero will probably be in PCIe [Express] by that time—out of luck for those with and AGP or (gasp!) only standard PCI," he wrote.
Never fear. Microsoft's Vista team has focused on performance. On Aug. 25, Redmond released Pre-RC1 Build 5536.16385, and the company says it runs faster than the previous flavors.
However, there are signs that the base performance of Vista on almost any hardware configuration may disappoint. Or at least concerns that Vista will run sluggishly on the system configs that Windows buyers are accustomed to.
Based on recent comments by Vista team players, it appears that Microsoft is counting on users running Windows Vista's flash-enabled SuperFetch technologies, ReadyBoost and ReadyDrive, to achieve a satisfactory level of performance. ReadyBoost will take advantage of a connected flash cache to speed up overall system and application performance, and ReadyDrive will use a flash cache on the system's hard drive to improve boot times and power usage.
In a presentation to flash vendors on the technology earlier in August at the Flash Memory Summit in San Jose, Calif., Matt Ayers, Microsoft's program manager of Windows Client performance, said the "Ready" programs "provide a more consistent computing experience—they actually make Vista run better."
According to Ayers, most of the time applications run fast enough for users to experience a level of consistency. However, "it's the [system] slowdowns that bother you."
Ayers demonstrated the performance benefits gained, even after a short while, with ReadyBoost and ReadyDrive. And the SuperFetch algorithms improve over time; the more they are used, the better the overall gain, he said.
Meanwhile, responding to recent online concerns over "sluggish" performance, Vista evangelist Keith Combs early in August also told readers to expect gains from ReadyDrive-capable hard drives.
A given machine "could have twice the memory, twice the speed in the GPU, etc. But we would end up with the same score due to the hard drive. This is going to change before we ship," Combs said.
This change would be due to the arrival of flash-enabled "hybrid" drives, which will boost performance levels, he said.
However, the times of arrival of hybrid disks from Samsung and Seagate Technology range from Q1 to Q2 in 2007. And neither company demonstrated a drive with anything resembling a production design. The Seagate units were crude proof-of-concept units with a memory module glued on top of a drive. But they worked.
So, to gain a level of consistency in Vista performance, it sure sounds as if users will need some assistance from flash memory.
How big a deal is performance tuning in Vista? It's certainly being pushed for software and hardware developers, but also to IT managers as a part of the MMC (Microsoft Management Console), which tracks performance and reliability.
The Windows Performance Diagnostic Console will offer tools for tracking the impact of applications and services on performance, and will create thresholds for performance parameters that can send alerts to the user or sys admin.
I notice that, when mentioned, performance is almost always paired with reliability and comes in second. The MMC diagnostics are characterized this way.
Still, for users, experience is all about performance. In Combs' article, there's a screen shot showing a "Windows Experience Index" rating. As he said, the total score is determined by the lowest-performing subsystem, in this case, the hard disk.
At the same time, performance may be hindered by the traditional thin configurations offered in the Windows market. Many machines ship with 512MB of RAM, and in the mindset of the market this is sufficient.
For example, the software industry still maintains the fiction that a Windows XP machine with 256MB of RAM can do all the tasks that need to be done, or that users might want to get done. Look at almost any piece of software and 256MB is listed as the base system requirement.
But that amount has little to do with usability. It's a joke.
Grabbing the nearest software suite off the shelf near my desk (name withheld to protect the guilty), it says that a 800MHz Pentium III machine with 256MB of RAM is the base config that can run the package. But then the fine print adds, in a rare case of honesty, that 1GB of RAM is "recommended" if you want to run more than one of the programs simultaneously—something that anyone would find a necessity to get work done.
But when it comes to Vista, more RAM (and more of everything, when you get down to it) will become a necessity. Vista's basic memory configuration will move up to 512MB, and for Aero, 1GB. But, let's face it, 2GB will be the true usable base level.
Where Vista is concerned, less is not more. No way. In fact, we will see if more will be enough.

Ouch. Click this link to see more eWeek articles about Vista. Decide for yourself.

Blur Studio

2006-09-21T09:12:00.000-04:00

You might have seen an awesome little 3D short film called In The Rough somewhere on the internet already. It's been circulating for some time now - I believe I first saw it nearly a year ago.

If you haven't seen it, don't worry. You're about to.

Blur Studio is the company responsible for In The Rough - and quite a few other short films. But they've got so much more to offer.

Located in Venice Beach, CA, the folks at Blur have put together an impressive reel of design/animation work. As with all the best companies like this, you can tell how rich their creative environment is by the quality of their finished products.

From movie and TV effects to video game cinematics, commercial ads to event graphic packaging - they've done it all. And it's all superior quality work.

Start here and watch some short films. They're funny, original, and nice to look at. But then spend some time looking around their site. It's remarkable stuff, all of it.

Art: Anova

2006-09-20T14:19:00.000-04:00

Jesper Bentzen is one of the people who remind me exactly what it is I'm not doing with my life. Whether I'd even be capable of the kind of work Jesper does is an unknown for me, and that's where I know I've come up short professionally.

There's no joke here, no sarcasm. Anova is all the things I aspire towards in my head: simple, elegant, genius. It is all the things I wonder if I'm capable of, but secretly believe I've only pretended I'm capable of.

I love these works.

The internet is full of Jesper Bentzens. None just like him, but just as talented in their own individual ways. Each one makes me step back, ashamed somehow.

Please, take the time to appreciate one man's hard work - one man's brilliance.

Superman Is A Dick; Batman Has, Foils Boners

2006-09-19T17:29:00.000-04:00

I laughed so hard at Superdickery.com, I literally cried.

If you always thought Superman was a little too arrogant, or if you just appreciate a good "boner" double-entendre, then you'll love Superdickery.com.

Not only does the site have an unbelievably impressive catalog of scanned covers and panels from golden/silver-age comics, but the commentary is hilarious. It's got something that will make you laugh, comic book lover or not.

I'm posting some of my favorites, but the mother lode is here.

Time Waster: Unfolding

2006-09-19T16:04:00.000-04:00

This is maddening.

It's also incredibly rewarding.

If I could have embedded it into my site, I would have. Since I could not, please click here to lose your mind.

Video: Weird Al White and Nerdy

2006-09-19T15:41:00.000-04:00

When my brother and I were kids, we listened to Weird Al religiously. To this day, I still have an affection for the originals of Al's spoofs - even when I wouldn't normally like the song otherwise.

Like every time I hear Macarthur Park, I finish the line "...is frightening in the dark. All the dinosaurs are run-ning wiiild." Or when Red Hot Chili Peppers Under The Bridge starts up on my XM radio, I immediately start singing, "Sometimes I feel like I need a vacation...sometimes I feel like I wanna go...to the city of cavemen, the city of Bedrock...I'd be a Flintstone, and I'll tell you why..."

No question - this is easily the whitest, nerdiest confession a person can make. But I am unashamed.

It's been a long time since I've seen a Weird Al video. But he's still at it - still taking the pop hits and turning them into funny songs white people can love.

In what can only be described as a lovenote to his fans, Al has taken Chamillionaire's Ridin' Dirty, and "weirded" it.

MC Escher is my fav-o-rite emcee, too, Al.

Video: Barats and Bereta

2006-09-19T08:49:00.000-04:00

The ever-absent Dave Burton introduced me to Barats and Bereta a while ago, and I have to admit...I wasn't impressed.

Their old schtick was uninspired, and I'd seen most of it before - like when my friends and I did the exact same things for our entire lives.

But then, something changed. I don't know exactly what changed, but they got funnier. Funnier enough that I'm putting these videos up here without reservation.

Without crossing the line into obnoxious, these two guys have a pretty good formula. Laugh at these, and then go check out their site (weird cartoon art and all).

Art: University of Tennessee

2006-09-15T18:45:00.000-04:00

I've worked with UT's Athletic Broadcasting Department for several years now, and it's the best second job on earth. It's such a rare priviledge to work on the inside of an organization that so many fans would give an arm and a leg to work for.

Being on the sidelines for home football games, on the court during basketball, or doing tape replays through both seasons...it's as good as moonlighting gets.

But I have also done a pretty good amount of design work for them over the years. If you've ever been to a game in Neyland Stadium, then you've seen some of it.

Much of this work I did independent of my day job, but some of it is technically Beyond Media work. Since everybody at Beyond works for UT on the side, it's hard to untangle the whole mess. But it doesn't matter.

Here are a couple of samples. Viola.

Flipping Fantastic: Miniscule

2006-09-15T17:34:00.000-04:00

So I posted Miniscule a couple days ago, and it mysteriously disappeared from YouTube. Apparently, zee Germans stole it, because I found it here.

You don't need to sprechen ze Deutsch to appreciate it. If I can find one to embed, I'll get it up here.

PlayStation III vs. Nintendo Wii vs. Xbox 360

2006-09-15T00:45:00.000-04:00

My post about the Wii has started generating some quality debate in the comments section. And as much as I'd like to perpetuate the dialogue there, those narrow confines aren't the ideal format for a discussion as polarizing as this one.

So I'm taking the fight out of the alley and into the street. We're gonna have a street fight.

A nerdy, nerdy street fight (no hitting below the pocket protector).

Round One

JLK makes the case for PS3:

The best system will win, and why is there any reason to think the PS3 won't be the best?

And I argue:

You have to define best. If you mean best as in best-looking with the fastest processor, then yes.

If you mean best as in best game experience or best practical purchase or best game system to play, then I will bet you dollars to pesos that the answer is a resounding, "no."

I've also got The Librarian in my corner:

Well, I think the ps3 won't be the best system this time. A massive processor and slick graphics do not fun make.

At this point we're all operating from the anecdotal. There aren't any hard and fast facts here, just opinions based on what we think and what we've played. I think SONY has priced the PS3 out of the range of most consumers, and JLK thinks that price isn't as limiting a factor to today's game console buyer - that excellent graphics will win over price point.

But we're just thinking.

It's looking a bit like this fight might just be between the Wii and PS3 - Xbox 360 doesn't seem to have anyone in his corner yet. But we're only getting started.

Round One: Draw

Round Two

The alley fight gets a little more than anecdotal now. I'm ready to start landing some solid hits:

Parents are not going to spend $600 on a christmas gift and another $100 on two games. That's a $700 investment just to get the thing in your living room.

You take your average parent who walks into Best Buy and looks at the game displays: the 3 consoles are all there.

One they've seen before - it's old hat.

The next has graphics that look great, but hardly more impressive than the Xbox they just looked at. And there's a huge $599 price tag on it...

Then they see the last console. It's tiny. The kids at the store are holding the "controller" and swinging it like a baseball bat - and they're actually playing baseball on-screen. To the parent, the graphics look just as good as the other two systems. And hell, look at how much fun they're having swinging that controller around.

Oh, and what's that? The price is less than half the PS3? It's only $250?

Sold!

Your average consumer can buy a Wii and own TEN games for the price of a PS3 and two games.

Xbox 360 sales have been bolstered only by the fact that it's had a year of being the sole "next-gen" console available.

Once it's no longer the only competetor, 360 sales will drop dramatically.

I mean, it was outsold this year 232,000 to 221,000 by the PlayStation 2! And it was outsold by the Nintendo DS and GBA, which moved over 300,000 units this year.

Zing! There are a few good straight rights in there, and the uppercut at the end with those sales figures makes for a good start to the round. I'm feeling pretty spry now - duck and weave, stick and move!

But JLK has been playing it cool, waiting for the moment to land a few haymakers. His left cross makes solid contact:

The gaming industry is huge. Bigger than movies. Gamers are shelling out big bucks anyway, and for what? Great games. That's why when I say best, I mean gameplay. The system that makes the best games with the coolest graphics will win. That's it.

Sony has been the leader since PS1 took hold of the market, and there's no reason to think that with all of the R and D that is going into this thing that Sony is willing to sacrifice at all any quality of gameplay.

Gamers are already spending the cash, and when the PS3 comes out, if it is as good as I expect it will be, then the gamers are going to gladly fork it over to the company that offers the best games.

Damn! I've got to take a few steps back and shake the fuzzies out. I think there's a cut opening over my right eye...

And it looks like JLK has the colonel in his corner - KFC steps in with:

Nintendo has disappointed me with their past two console systems. I only use my Gamecube for Resident Evil and the Gameboy player attachment.

Ow. Firsthand experience with disappointing Nintendo consoles. Say what you want about sales numbers, it's the word-of-mouth that hits hardest. And it stings.

The judges scored this round for the PS3. The Wii is getting that cut looked at byhis trainers. And Xbox 360 receives no points this round, as it landed no punches and took a few crowd-pleasing hits to the face.

Round Two: PS3

Round Three

So rounds one and two were a recap - bringing the viewers at home up to speed. But now we're live, on the street, and I'm ready to come out swinging.

I want to start by addressing a specific point:

The gaming industry is huge. Bigger than movies.

Not so fast, my friend. While I don't disagree that the gaming industry has grown exponentially over the last 5 years, that statment is highly misleading - and vague.

It's impossible to find hard numbers on actual net revenues for the game industry as a whole, and it's more impossible to find those numbers for Hollywood. But the most current numbers I can find look like this:

According to the Entertainment Software Association, computer and video game sales for 2005 grew to $7 billion in 2005. In comparison, Box Office Mojo reports that domestic box office totals for 2005 were around $8.8 billion.

I realize that the ESA numbers don't include video game hardware such as consoles, but the Box Office Mojo numbers don't include worldwide releases, residuals, television options, or DVD sales. DVD sales alone made $15.5 billion in 2004.

If you're going to evaluate the "industries" as a whole side-by-side, video games are not even close to being bigger than movies.

But that's not the heart of my argument. The reason I think the SONY PlayStation III will be a failure has much less to do with the PS3 itself, and almost everything to do with SONY.

SONY has been slowly killing itself for the last decade. As a corporation, the company is financially unstable, its retail markets have reached far beyond their ability to support the number of products they develop, and sales of SONY products as a whole have tumbled dramatically.

The problems they had with the proprietary SONY DRM software have been called "the equivalent of a 9-11 event for the tech market." And that's only the tip of the iceberg. Here's a short list:

PS3 launch delays hit Sony's shares
Sony drags Nikkei lower
Sony's PSP stumbles
Sony PS3 delays, cost hurt stock
The civil war inside Sony
Microsoft cleans up SONY's mess
Apple recalls 1.8 million SONY batteries
Apple battery debacle could be big blow to Sony
At E3, Sony stumbles
Sony's huge PlayStation 3 bet
Why you shouldn't buy products from Sony this season
Sony: the rootkit of all evil?
Sony's new music downloading site's a flop

The list goes on.

But I'm not trying to hammer SONY for being a bad company. I love my SONY gear. And I love my PS2. I don't want it to seem like I'm a SONY hater...

I do believe that SONY has pitted a dangerously large portion of the company's fiscal future against an overpriced, unproven game system. When Microsoft did this with the Xbox, they lost money on every single unit sold. But they could do that, because Microsoft is fiscally sound - so fiscally sound that it can afford to pay millions in anti-trust fines.

SONY is not Microsoft.

The PS2 has dominated more than 70% of the console market since its release. Nintendo had nothing comparable to compete with. Microsoft has been content to slowly build its own share of the gaming marketplace, and will undoubtedly be a beneficiary of the overinflated price point on the PS3's release.

The reason I see failure in the PS3's future is that the risks are too high, the viability of the system is too untested and unknown, and the two major competitors will be solid, stable producers.

SONY will be the biggest roadblock to the PS3's success.

...So now it's your turn. Get to the comments section, and I'll post your replies up here on "the street." We'll see how many rounds this knock-down, drag-out lasts!

Wii Release Date: November 19

2006-09-14T09:16:00.000-04:00

According to IGN, the Nintendo Wii finally has a launch date: November 19, 2006. That puts it squarely in the Q4 release window that Nintendo had earlier announced, and makes it prime Christmas fodder.

Release price? $250.00.

And get this: the Wii is scheduled to be released in the US before debuting in Japan. Japan won't be able to get their hands on the new N console until December 2.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that the US version will also come bundled with Wii Sports, a $40 game that showcases the functionality of the Wii's unique nunchaku controller.

So, to recap:

The Nintendo Wii is ready to launch at full capacity with 25 game titles in its library - before Thanksgiving - for $250.00. It also comes with a free game.
The Sony Playstation 3 has been mired in production delays. SONY cut its initial release estimate from 2 million units to 500,000 total units at launch - 400,000 for US, 100,000 for Japan. Europe won't get PS3 until March 2007. Oh, and the PS3 will run you $499.00 for the stripped-down version, $599.00 for the full version. No free game.
The Xbox 360 is a year old. Sales have slowed and nearly come to a halt in Japan. Good luck Microsoft.

The race is ready to be run. I know where to bet my money.

Preview: Guitar Hero II

2006-09-13T14:48:00.000-04:00

Guitar Hero II is due out in November, and it is going to rock your face off. In mathematical terms, that news looks something like this:

Face + Guitar Hero II = Rocked Off

Why I needed to add the math part, I don't know. But let's take a look at exactly what you can expect from the new goliath of rhythm games:

55 New Rock Tracks
Cooperative Multiplayer Mode
Pro-Style Head-To-Head Multiplayer
New Venues
New Characters
New Unlockables
And...WTF? THREE-FINGER Chords?

There's so much to get crunk about, I hardly know where to start. So, instead of me doing all the leg-work and telling you what to expect, just watch these videos. And hang on to your face.

The trailer caused me to have an epileptic seizure.

The Perry Bible Fellowship

2006-09-13T11:10:00.000-04:00

The Perry Bible Fellowship is a cartoon strip series that manages to take some of the happiest little drawings you've ever seen, and turn them into something horribly inappropriate. PBF creator, Nicholas Gurewitch, has a skill for this kind of thing that makes me uncomfortably jealous - both for his humor and for his unpronouncable name.

His strips range from whimsical to sociopathic, but they're all undeniably clever.

Readers, take heed: those of you who think you might not like this kind of humor...won't. You'll want to skip it.

Don't let the cute drawings fool you, some of them are NSFW.

Everybody else, enjoy.

PAY ATTENTION! : I-Names

2006-09-13T09:57:00.000-04:00

This post has all the hallmarks of something you'll glance at and immediately skip over. But don't!

You want to know about I-names.

I-names (or more accurately, I-numbers) might, just might, totally reshape the way you and I identify ourselves and our presence on the internet. The standard is only being adoped as we speak, but it has the potential to utterly change our everyday use of web contacts.

Don't read the rest of this article yet. Just go here and get your $5 I-name now. You only have until 7pm PST today (Sept. 13) to get it for that price. You wait and you'll have to pay more later.

Trust me, just go do it and then come back to find out what you're buying.

--------------------------

Back? Good.

What you've just purchased is a unique identifier that will belong to you and only you until you quit paying for it.

Now read this:

I-Names were built to simplify the way you identify yourself on the internet, the way you communicate, and the way that information about you is stored and accessed. They are meant to be as simple as you want (=john or =john.doe or =crazyjohn) and as unique as you are.

Authentication (Single Sign On)

By relying on a 3rd party, trusted by you and by the site needing to verify your identity, you have fewer usernames and passwords to remember and the site doesn't have to maintain an authentication system.

Data Distribution and Control

You can store your personal data (like your shipping address or your email address) at a trusted source and give access to it. If it changes, those allowed access will have the updated information. If you sever your relationship, you can withdraw access. You are in control.

Communication Control

You can choose who you allow communication from. For instance, you might only allow people that have logged into an account, or people whose email address has been confirmed, to send you a message. This sets a more difficult bar for spammers trying to get to you, which makes spam much less cost efficient and less attractive as a business.

I-Names are about user-centric identity and giving people better control of their personal data. Email addresses, phone numbers and domain names are "absolute", meaning once they are given out, access is difficult to control and thay are difficult to change. I-names, on the other hand are designed for flexibility.

There are A LOT more services currently in development and on the drawing boards and there are things that can happen with a system like this in place that even we haven't even thought of yet...but this was the short answer.

The public launch of i-names is set for Digital ID World in Santa Clara, which takes place from September 11 through September 13. In celebration of this event (and to generate a buzz) the First-Year-For-$5 promotion was born. It was also decided that these $5 i-names should be made available to everyone, not just attendees of the conference. Normally, an �=� i-name costs about $20 per year at the i-brokers participating in this website. After the first year, the price will be $20/year.

Since it is not limited to any number of people, it is limited by time. It applies to = names purchased between 10pm September 10th , 2006 and 2am September 14th Greenwich Mean Time (in Pacific Time that translates to between 3pm, Sept 10th to 7pm, September 14th ).

Of course, you can buy i-names before and after that time but they will cost the normal $20/year.

Think of your I-name just like you think of your AIM nickname or your Yahoo Messenger ID. It's a shorthand, unique moniker that let's people find you quickly and and easily.

No matter where you go or how often you change contact information, people can keep up with you.

Still not sold? Think of it this way:

Say you had an email address in college that all your college friends knew. After school, you moved away and started working for a company that gave you an account with the business. Over time, you didn't use your old college address as much - and eventually, stopped using it altogether.

Then, ten years after college, the girl you had Sociology 130 with who had a boyfriend at the time but really wanted you (you could tell) decides she'd like to look you up. But wait! The only address she has is your 10-year old college email. She has no way to know that you have a new business account and closed your old email account ages ago.

She can't find your new email address or your number. She's devastated. And all she can do is cry her beautiful, shapely self to sleep. Alone.

Tough nuts, dude. The girl of your dreams will never find you now.

Time to get an I-name.

The reason I bring this up with urgency is because it's an emerging standard. Right now, you still have a chance to get the unique I-name you want without having to fight for it. As with every service where you have to pick a username, if you wait, it'll be much harder to get the one you want.

So sign up now. Figure out the details later. Just trust me that it's worth the five dollars.

And don't try to get =cechols. It's got.

Preview: Faux iPod Futures

2006-09-12T16:01:00.000-04:00

Wired has a nice compilation of imagined next-gen iPods and iPod accessories, cleverly dubbed iMockups. Steve Jobs is slated to introduce a bevy of new gildings for his lilly sometime soon, so maybe a few of these might actually have a future.

At the very least, they're awesome examples of product design.

Check it.

Video: How It Should Have Ended: Superman

2006-09-08T13:51:00.000-04:00

If you haven't seen Brian Singer's new Superman movie, then maybe you shouldn't watch this. It will give away the ending for you.

The fake ending.

Play the clip, then go visit HowItShouldHaveEnded.com.

Time Waster: What'ya Mean?

2006-09-07T16:23:00.000-04:00

Ladies and gentlemen, get ready to waste your time with the translation tool to end all translation tools.

What'ya Mean? uses Google's translation service to find the "true meaning" of any phrase you input. It does so by taking your English language text and translating it:

from English to French
from French to German
from German back to English

The results are pretty impressive. But I'm mostly impressed that a mechanical translation service ends up working exactly like the old-fashioned grapevine service.

Test it out and post any funny results you get.

Pleix

2006-09-07T15:43:00.000-04:00

Described thusly:

Pleix is a virtual community of digital artists based in Paris. Some of us are 3D artists, some others are musicians or graphic designers. This website is the perfect place to share our latest creations.

The films and accompanying music are of the utmost quality. Watch Birds and be amazed at the beauty of dogs in flight. Watch Beauty Kit and be appalled at our standards of beauty.

Awesome: Instructables

2006-09-07T14:22:00.000-04:00

I've always liked learning how to do things for myself. Fortunately, Instructables exists to help me do just that.

You might never imagine the things you can learn how to do by visiting this website. And if you happen to be clever enough to have built, sewn, constructed, fashioned, or created something yourself - and you're willing to share that knowledge - then you're can contribute to the site's database of tutorials.

As much as I'd love to extoll the myriad virtues of Instructables, it's infinitely more fun for you to just click and find out for yourself.

But I can tell you this: spend five minutes on the site, and you will want to build your own laptop sleeve.

Jay, if any person I know is qualified to contribute to something like this, it's you.

More of the Incredible Don Hertzfeldt

2006-09-07T14:17:00.000-04:00

Without further ado, please enjoy Genre by everyone's favorite stop-motion line-drawing animator, Don Hertzfeldt.

Preview: Spore

2006-09-07T11:31:00.000-04:00

Will Wright is one of the gaming industry's brightest and most innovative minds. He's responsible for SimCity and The Sims among many other genre-defining titles.

In a lot of ways, Will is the father of the "life-simulation" game as we know it.

Now, he's taken the idea of life-simulation to an entirely new level. His newest project is called Spore, and it stands to thoroughly reshape the gaming landscape. Spore isn't just a life-simulator, it is a virtual life-generator.

The idea behind the game is that a player will evolve a totally unique species of animal, raising them from mono-cellular goo to universe-conquering superbeings. At every step along the way, users determine nearly every feature of their creations - body type, markings, vocalization. Everything.

And as each unique player builds unique new species, those creatures are uploaded to a centralized server.

Centralized server? Pourquoi?

Get this: every unique species is redistributed to other real-world players around the globe. So each single player will experience a unique array of lifeforms in their universe, but that universe will be populated by millions of creatures created by thousands of other users.

It is, as Will terms it, a massively online single-player game.

My description of Spore might be more confusing than enlightening. But if you've got a half hour to fixate your curiosity, watch the video below. It's one of the most exciting and fascinating game demos I've ever seen.

Even if you don't give a crap about video games, you might be interested in the story itself. Take a few minutes to check it out. You'll be rewarded with Robin Williams at the end.

Ha. Rewarded.

Awesome: Light-Emitting Shirts

2006-09-07T09:45:00.000-04:00

Thanks to the techno-savvy Chief, I've got yet another incredible-but-unnecessary product for you to enjoy.

Philips has developed a textile mesh array embedded with thousands of LEDs (Light Emitting Diodes) capable of displaying text, images, or even animations. The result is a flexible cloth application that can put words and images practically anywhere you find fabric: shirts, pants, couches, Wonderbra® Pushup Ass.

Anywhere.

I'd personally like to have a shirt sleeve that I could "write" reminders on - instead of having to do it on my hand. But then, it might be a little embarrassing to walk into the Wal-Mart with I NEED HAND LOTION AND TISSUES AND MAYONNAISE scrolling up my arm.

That said, it would be funny if the Wonderbra® Pushup Ass came embedded with a flashing FALSE ADVERTISING on it.

Oh, how the sales would skyrocket.

High-Frequency Ringtone. Can You Hear It?

2006-09-05T11:41:00.000-04:00

NPR recently reported a story about a British invention called the Mosquito Teen Repeller.

The Mosquito creates a high-pitched sound that is audible to teens, but supposedly not to older adults.

Because it's an irritating noise, the idea was that it would disperse groups of teenagers loitering in public places. The teens, however, figured out how to record the sound and use it as a ringtone for their cellular phones.

Figuring that their "old" teachers couldn't hear the sound, the kids began using the high-pitched ringer to alert them to text messages while in class.

Devious.

Anyhow, this is a fairly dated news story. But I'm interested to find out how many of you can hear this sound.

Click HERE and listen to the ringtone.

Now that you've listened to the sound, I'm betting that you did hear it. Although the high frequency oscillation is difficult for some older ears to detect, I haven't run into many people who fail to hear it.

Now, post a comment and tell me if you heard it or not.

PS - You can download that sound file and use it as a ringtone yourself. You deviant teen, you.

Trojan Pants, Victorious

2006-09-05T10:35:00.000-04:00

Tro·jan pants
'trO-j&n 'pantz
noun plural
1a : any of the tight-fitting women's pant styles that create a false impression of the firmness and/or shapeliness of the wearer's posterior 1b: designer-brand pants bought at excessive cost specifically for the purpose of tricking men into believing that the wearer has "a nice ass"

: Dude, remember that girl with the nice ass from the restaurant? Well it turned out those were Trojan pants. I got ambushed by the real ass last night. Egad!

2 : an artificial support or padded undergarment that creates the illusion of the wearer having a "peach bottom" [see photograph; (further exposition here)]

Awesome: Don Hertzfeldt

2006-08-31T22:36:00.000-04:00

The ever-alert Kung Fu Charlie brought this short film to my attention. It's hilarious and speaks entirely for itself.

You should know that it was created by the incomparable Don Hertzfeldt and was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Short Animation in 2001.

I guess I'm a little late getting around to this one.

Preview: Ninja Loves Pirate

2006-08-28T16:14:00.000-04:00

Great jumping candle-beards, sensei!

Potentially the greatest game of all time has been fashioned from the mangled corpses of the animated undead, and stitched together with twine of ninja and threads of pirate. It's an unholy assemblage that cries out for the sweet flesh of the living!

"Yarrrrgh!" it cries.

"Seishou!" you'll respond.

In news that is infinetly more readable and just barely as important as the Scuderi Engine, Muskedunder Interactive has unveiled its flagship game:

Ninja Loves Pirate.

There's very little to say about the game except just what it is: an old-school 2D sidescroller in which players command both ninjas and pirates to fight hordes of zombies and robots.

Go here and click Downloads to play the demo.

And take that steering wheel out of your pants.

The Scuderi Split-Cycle Combustion Engine

2006-08-28T09:39:00.000-04:00

I've mentioned on more than one occasion that I'm perpetually interested in alternative fuels and hybrid/ultra-efficient engine technologies. More than any other practical technology, the combustion engine literally drives our world, and improvements in efficiency are absolutely crucial to the future of automotive and industrial applications.

Traditional combustion engines as we know them are inefficient - grossly inefficient compared to other methods of generating power.

Today's dealership-floor, piston-driven gasoline engine can waste somewhere close to 50% of the fuel it ingests fighting the intake atmospheric vacuum depression caused by the injector manifold butterfly-valve (or carburetor in non-fuel-injected engines). That accounts for half the pollution generated by nearly every combustion engine in use right now.

Also, the contemporary engine cannot balance optimum specifications for multiple qualifiers into one efficient unit. It can't be light, generate minimal noise and vibrations, have a peak torque curve at low RPM and yet maintain substantial torque over a wide power band...all while producing low emissions and being adaptable to multiple fuel types.

There are more reasons, but I didn't set out to bore you with that crap. I just wanted to introduce you to a remarkable alternative engine design. It's the Scuderi Split-Cycle Engine.

The Scuderi isn't the only alternative combustion engine design out there. Not by any stretch. But it is the only engine design to finally take an ages-old concept - the split-cylinder tandem engine - and make it work. I mean, really work.

Scuderi's design divides the four stages of combustion (intake, compression, power, exhaust) into two chambers separated by a pressurized air tank.

Basically, the first cylinder performs the intake and then compresses the fuel-air mixture into the air tank. Then the second cylinder draws in the mix just after top dead-center - right at combustion - to create the power and exhaust cycles.

Normally, all this takes place in a single cylinder with the help of multiple valves. Splitting it up creates a considerably more efficient combustion cycle with far less wasted fuel, and in turn, considerably lower emissions.

The whole idea of an engine that starts the power stroke after the piston head reaches top dead-center is totally contrary to the maxims of engine efficiency. Since Henry Ford, engineers have known that if you start combustion as the piston is on its down stroke, at high RPMs the piston wil outrun the combustion. That problem has never been overcome until the Scuderi.

The addition of high pressure compressed air solves the top dead-center problem by generating so much more power at combustion that the piston can't outrun it.

Anyhow, the Scuderi Group has a great little video explaining how the engine works. In fact, you probably didn't read this and are already watching it.

Actually, you probably didn't read this, then you clicked the video, realized it didn't have any Japanese guys getting wailed in the package, and skipped this whole post altogether.

Art: Arte Com Dobras de Papel

2006-08-23T16:40:00.000-04:00

No explanation, just beautiful papercut art. See them all here.

Animusic: Pipe Dream

2006-08-23T16:19:00.000-04:00

This is quite old. I remember seeing it for the first time several years ago, but it's still supremely captivating.

Awesome: 3D TV. No Joke.

2006-08-22T11:41:00.000-04:00

We don't have flying cars. I cannot use a teleporter to get to work on time. Robots haven't conquered the Earth. And when I come in from the rain, there is no automated voice telling me, "Your jacket is now dry."

The future is largely a disappointment.

Or at least, it was largely a disappointment until I read this: Philips has built and is selling 3D televisions.

You say, "Dude! I'm not wearing some ridiculous glasses so I can watch 3D TV in my living room. That's late 70's-style, nerd."

And I say, "Keep your glasses in your time capsule, doubting Thomas. This TV doesn't need glasses. It relies on being able to trick your brain and your eyes at the same time to make you think those snakes are jumping off the plane right into your living room."

Seriously.

Check this out from Wired:

A new line of 3-D televisions by Philips uses the familiar trick of sending slightly different images to the left and right eyes -- mimicking our stereoscopic view of the real world. But where old-fashioned 3-D movies rely on the special glasses to block images meant for the other eye, Philips' WOWvx technology places tiny lenses over each of the millions of red, green and blue sub pixels that make up an LCD or plasma screen. The lenses cause each sub pixel to project light at one of nine angles fanning out in front of the display.

A processor in the TV generates nine slightly different views corresponding to the different angles. From almost any location, a viewer catches a different image in each eye.

Providing so many views is key to the dramatic results. Sharp Electronics makes an LCD display that projects just two views, requiring an audience to sit perfectly still in front of the screen. With the Philips technology, viewers can move around without losing much of the effect -- one set of left/right views slips into another, with just a slight double-vision effect in the transitions.

The TV can also display standard two-dimensional images, close to HD quality.

See. I told you so.

Read the whole article here. And get ready to buy your flying car.

Anthony Bourdain: Trapped in Beirut

2006-08-22T09:48:00.000-04:00

I like Anthony Bourdain.

As someone who makes television shows, I like television shows that break the mold a little.

I like shows that take a tried and formulaic genre and catalyze it with bold thinking. No Reservations is that sort of show.

The show's concept is fairly simple: a known chef, Bourdain, is sent to parts unknown. He samples the local culture, engages the local population and indulges in local culinary flavors. Sometimes he cooks, too.

And in a total affront to contemporary television mores, Bourdain smokes compulsively and drinks religiously. Who's to say how "real" reality television is? Not me. But Anthony Bourdain might be as close as we'll ever get.

Last night, Casey and I watched a special presentation of No Reservations. It was called Anthony Bourdain: In Beirut.

In Beirut started out like any other episode of the show: Anthony flew to Lebanon to seek out the local flavors and culture. He waxed on about the religious diversity and westernization of modern-day Beirut. Anthony and his guide enjoyed a rewarding meal at Le Cafe, a place that epitomized the sort of restaurant Anthony loves for his shows.

And then the tone came down. Anthony got serious.

After the meal, as Bourdain and his Beiruti guide surveyed the site of a political assassination, everything changed.

The streets flooded with Beiruti youth waving Hezbollah flags and shouting. Automatic gunfire rang out on the streets. Something had happened.

Hezbollah soldiers had kidnapped two Israeli soldiers, and from the moment they realized what had happened, Anthony's crew knew they were in the path of an oncoming storm.

The events that followed during the crew's nine days trapped in Beirut were all captured on video. I won't detail the episode here, as that would defeat the point of encouraging you to watch it. But honestly, In Beirut was one of the most eminently watchable, powerful pieces of televsion I've seen in a long time.

I'm going to leave you hanging in the hopes that you'll watch The Travel Channel or order the episode from Discovery Online whenever it shows up. Worthwhile television is hard to find. Seek this out if you have the chance.

Here's a clip of Tony on Larry King talking about the experience.

Something Wonderful: Can

2006-08-18T17:18:00.000-04:00

You know, there are moments in your life that humble you beyond words. They are few and far-between, but are undeniable.

Never has one of those moments come from a Sports Illustrated story for me. Until now...

I'm sure some of you have heard the story of Dick Hoyt and his son, Rick. I hadn't until my brother, Evan, sent me the story. It came linked with a video. And honestly, don't even bother reading the article if you aren't going to watch the video.

Read this story and watch that four-minute video.

Be a little changed.

From Sports Illustrated, By Rick Reilly

I try to be a good father. Give my kids mulligans. Work nights to pay for their text messaging. Take them to swimsuit shoots. But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.

Eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars--all in the same day.

Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. on a bike. Makes taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?

And what has Rick done for his father? Not much--except save his life.

This love story began in Winchester, Mass., 43 years ago, when Rick was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs. ``He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life;'' Dick says doctors told him and his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. ``Put him in an institution.''

But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was anything to help the boy communicate. ``No way,'' Dick says he was told. ``There's nothing going on in his brain.''

"Tell him a joke,'' Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a lot was going on in his brain.

Rigged up with a computer that allowed him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? ``Go Bruins!'' And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the school organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, ``Dad, I want to do that.''

Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described ``porker'' who never ran more than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he tried. ``Then it was me who was handicapped,'' Dick says. ``I was sore for two weeks.''

That day changed Rick's life. ``Dad,'' he typed, ``when we were running, it felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!''

And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.

``No way,'' Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quite a single runner, and they weren't quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then they found a way to get into the race officially: In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the qualifying time for Boston the following year.

Then somebody said, ``Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?''

How's a guy who never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since he was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick tried.

Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii. It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you think?

Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? ``No way,'' he says. Dick does it purely for ``the awesome feeling'' he gets seeing Rick with a cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.

This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best time'? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992--only 35 minutes off the world record, which, in case you don't keep track of these things, happens to be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the time.

``No question about it,'' Rick types. ``My dad is the Father of the Century.''

And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries was
95% clogged. ``If you hadn't been in such great shape,'' one doctor told him, ``you probably would've died 15 years ago.''

So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other's life.

Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass., always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every > weekend, including this Father's Day.

That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy.

``The thing I'd most like,'' Rick types, ``is that my dad would sit in the chair and I would push him once.''

Just for the record, Rick Reilly is (always has been, always will be) my favorite sports writer.

Trailer: Let's Go To Prison

2006-08-17T09:19:00.000-04:00

If I could type out the opening riff to The Final Countdown by Europe in words, it would probably look something like this:

Dee do dee doooo - dee do dee dee doooo - dee do dee doo dooooo...It's the fi-nal count-down!

But that looks silly. So instead, I'm just going to post the trailer for Will Arnett's third post-Arrested Development movie: Let's Go To Prison.

Let me say this right now: even if this movie sucks Paris Hilton-style, I am going to see it. You'd have to pay me money to not go pay money to watch Will Arnett in a movie about going to prison.

Because this trailer is so new, details about the movie itself are pretty scarce. I think you'll glean all you need to know about the plot from this teaser, though.

Look for co-star Dax Shepard to take the voice-over lead, and that guy from Boston Public to take the prison-sex lead. All signs point to this film being the feel-good prison romance movie of the year.

If I can find a better trailer somewhere, I'll post it up. For now, this is the only one around.

A New Solar System?

2006-08-16T10:19:00.000-04:00

Scientists are bored.

They're bored and tired of looking at the same nine planets we've been looking at for centuries. They know that the job of science is to press ever forward - to constantly invent new reasons to contradict the scientists of the past.

Science is what scientists decide it is when they're bored.

And now scientists have decided that our solar system needs more planets. An international symposium tribunal of telescope-peering magistrates has redefined the defintion of the word planet. Seriously. Because this has been the most important scientific debate in the history of thinking.

After two - read that, two - years of "intense astronomical debate," science is fresh and new and "teachable" once more.

Prepare thyself for the new and improved, superhot, most up-to-date-est definition of the word planet you're going to see in your lifetime. Science sayeth:

Planets are round. And they orbit a star.

Congratulations, science! The universe is infinitely more understandable now. And your new definition couldn't be more comprehensive. Scientist Richard Binzel, an MIT astronomer, agrees:

We now have a new way to put the solar system together. We think this definition is reasonable.

So kids, get crunk to learn the new 12 to 53-member solar system map! My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas = old and busted. Teh new hotness is: My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nine Cold Pizzas Under A Winter Sky For The Birthday Excitement You Enjoyed In Your Pants Before The Delivery of Annual Gift Man Abracadabra!

Ha ha! Science is important!

Art: Wonder Woman, Narnia

2006-08-16T10:03:00.000-04:00

I started a series of illustrations back in 2003 that I wanted to build around DC's iconic superhero characters. My efforts produced the sum total of one Wonder Woman print and about 8 Superman/Batman layouts. Crap.

Anyhow, you can click her to see the full illustration.

The image below was inspired by a thread on ConceptArt about the most powerful moments from books of our childhood. I chose the White Witch sacrificing Aslan from The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe to illustrate.

The concept didn't progress much past a rough sketch, but I wound up inking and vectorizing what little I had done. It's wholly unfinished, but still has something of what I was hoping to convey in it.

I included a few process shots in there as well.

Tools: Artie

2006-08-14T19:34:00.000-04:00

So you're tired of searching through Amazon.com for album art to go in your iTunes library.

You and me both, hermano.

Apparently, everybody uses Amazon to collect artwork for their ripped iTunes albums. It's a ubiquitous process. I do it. Your father does it. Your Aunt Netta watches it every night on the VCR.

Anyhow, you don't have to waste time doing manual searches and dragging artwork one-at-a-time anymore. Artie will do it for you. And Artie will do a good ass job.

Just upload your iTunes .xml library file and let Artie search. Artie returns a very high percentage of correctly-matched album images (at least, in my completely unscientific tests). Some will be misses, and some won't be found at all. But it's considerably easier than doing it all by hand.

Artie wins my Useful Tool of the Day Award. You'll be glad Patrick Moberg thought it up.

Art: ConceptArt.org DSG

2006-08-10T18:33:00.000-04:00

I've been a member of a website called ConceptArt.org for several years. It's one of the most incredible resources imaginable for an artist - a place to post your work and have it critiqued by others.

When I say others I mean everyone. From the unskilled newb to the respected professional, everyone has the opportunity to provide input on your work.

The beauty of this sort of site (it's hardly the only one), is that you are able to see the work of thousands of others all in one place. Much of the work is done by professional illustrators and concept artists - game designers, art directors, Hollywood concept painters, the lot.

I haven't contributed to the site in a very, very long time - I just haven't been able to find the time. But I dug up these sketches from a few years ago, and thought I'd plaster them here.

These four selections are from the Daily Sketch Group series. Each day ConceptArt posts a new "theme," and members contribute a quick sketch of something representative of that theme.

You will see each theme embedded in the images.

The idea is that you shouldn't spend more than a few minutes on each piece, so none of these are very polished.

Anyhow, I hope you've enjoyed this installment in the Echols Recycles Old Illustrations series. Don't forget to click the thumbnails to enlarge.

*PS: If you have any interest whatsoever, my user name on ConceptArt.org is "leviathan"

Video: The Hoff: Jump In My Car

2006-08-09T19:07:00.000-04:00

Once you watch this video, you will fever with a desire to gnaw the flesh from your bones and rend your eyes from their very sockets. But, alas! You can never unsee what you have seen.

Also, I think that you only have 7 days to live after watching it.

Just know that this is an official video release from Sony BMG Music Entertainment, Australia.

And also know that I won't be sleeping for weeks.

Top 10 Worst Company URLs

2006-08-09T18:49:00.000-04:00

Nextwebgen.com has a classy list of the best of the worst corporate URLs.

I suppose the whole point of ridiculing these sites for their failings - while at the same time driving massive amounts of traffic to them - is a bit oxymoronic. But then, why just be moronic when you can be oxymoronic.

Time Waster: Oceangram

2006-08-09T16:26:00.000-04:00

Remember that time you were walking along the beach enjoying a seaside sunset, when a small glass bottle with a note in it washed up at your feet?

Of course you don't. Because nobody bothers to send bottle mail via the ocean anymore.

They do it via Oceangram.com.

Oceangram is a great time waster that provides a totally unique experience for everyone who takes the time to open a drifting bottle. Write a note, stick it in a virtual bottle and set it adrift on the virtual ocean.

Who will find your message? What truth might you discover floating on the horizon? Does this count as pollution?

You can also send a bottle to a specific email address if you'd like to make sure your message washes up on the right beach.

Useless: Google Leetspeak Search

2006-08-09T16:03:00.000-04:00

This is totally random.

If you ever felt like the simple Google interface just wasn't r0xx0|2s enough for you, then the l33t search engine is where you need to be.

It's the full Google search engine, but notated with all the juvenile text a 13-year old IMer could hope for.

Not surprisingly, Google has dozens of odd pages like this.

Awesome: Travis Pastrana's Double Backflip

2006-08-07T14:23:00.000-04:00

I meant to post this earlier, but just didn't manage to get around to it.

If you didn't watch the X-Games this weekend, then you missed out on some of the most impressive performances in modern sport. And I'm not waxing sarcastic when I say that.

Contemporary "extreme sports" have evolved into incredibly nuanced, highly-technical performances. You almost cannot believe the amount of skill and practice required to execute the stunts, tricks and absolute feats-of-the-impossible that these athletes pull off.

2006's X-Games 12 saw at least two tricks performed in competition that had never been done before: Kevin Robinson's BMX double-flair, and the only one you're going to care about...

Travis Pastrana's double backflip.

Anyone with a heartbeat will appreciate the video. This is the kind of thing you don't survive if you miss.

Trailer: Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny

2006-08-07T10:06:00.000-04:00

Whip crack went his whippy tail, and the beast was done.

And with that, the first official trailer for the first official Tenacious D movie is online. The film is titled Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny, but it doesn't refer to being chosen by destiny. It's literally...a pick. You know, like the kind you play a guitar with.

It could be a subtle play on words. But I don't think Jack Black could spell subtle if you spotted him the S, U, B, T, and L. He'd just think you were spelling "subtitle" and he'd make a serious face and say, "It's not a French art film. Sha na na nah sha na na nana."

So the question is, how does it look? Well, in a word:

AWESOME..........LY BAD.

Ha. No.

*PS: If you don't like groin punches, sasquatch, 6-armed guitar wailing, the devil tearing up killer drum solos, or humor...don't watch this.

OK Go: Video Made The Internet Star

2006-08-04T21:28:00.000-04:00

You probably met OK Go back when their A Million Ways video conquered the internets. Now they've done it again with Video Made The Internet Star.

Here, they've traded the backyard for treadmills, but their signature dance moves made the trip with them.

Alright. No long post about the band or their many other videos. Just some links and the opportunity for you to enjoy something without me rambling on incessantly about it.

Ha ha! Self-deprication is a skill!

The Geek Test

2006-08-04T20:56:00.000-04:00

I scored 38.2643% on v.3.1. of the Innergeek Geek Test.

Should I be proud or ashamed? I'm torn.

Click the picture to take the test. Then post your scores, nerds.

Art: Zoo Book

2006-08-04T20:04:00.000-04:00

One of the main reasons I started this blog was to have a place to post some of my illustration work. So I guess I ought to start doing it.

Back in college, I did an independent study to earn my last few credit hours before I graduated. For the project, I illustrated a zoo book for children.

Here are a few of the pieces from that book. Some of you might already have seen these in their original form, and will notice I've reworked them for a more consistent look.

Please click to see larger versions.

*If you feel like commenting, I'd definitely appreciate it. Whether you know me or not, your input is very welcome.

Something Wonderful: La Chute de L'Ange

2006-08-04T16:17:00.000-04:00

So often I write as the skeptic - as the cynic. But this time I'd like to give you something wonderful; something to soften the cynic's heart.

I confess I know nothing about this tiny film. I could find out, but I'd rather just present it to you:

The Fall of The Angel.

See if it doesn't just make your day.

We Are The Internet

2006-08-03T19:31:00.000-04:00

Ok, I'm genuinely not sure what I make of this.

In principle, I'm an advocate of the message: I love the internet and want it to remain an open, (essentially) free resource. If you've read anything on my site, you already know that I'm a proponent of open-source software, I encourage self-regulation for the web, and I have a considerable distaste for corporate control.

That said, the approach that Leslie Hall (Keeper of The Gems) at wearetheweb.org takes in preserving web neutrality is...well... It's unconventional. And it makes me strangely ashamed that I know the "celebrities" in her video.

I'm throwing in with Leslie, though. Wearetheweb.org is a friend to echols:construct because we share the same convictions. However:

We don't share wardrobes.

We don't share musical taste.

And we don't share a belief that capes are cool.

All the same, you'll get a laugh out of Leslie, her gold spandex pants and her friends. It's worth a few minutes to hear what she has to say. The video has all the makings of a classic internet "gem" - literally. Watch it here.

*Note: I removed the embedded video from my site, as it has an autoplay I can't turn off. I don't like that.

Maas Digital MER Animation

2006-08-03T18:35:00.000-04:00

This is gorgeous.

Maas Digital created what they call a "scientifically accurate" CGI animation to illustrate the progress of NASA's Mars Exploration Rover. It is a stunning, captivating piece of digital science.

Take a few minutes to watch the high-quality version of the animation. It's a large file and will take some time to load on slower internet connections. I assure you, though, it's absolutely worth your wait.

This Maas animation and several others are featured in a NOVA presentation about Mars on PBS. You can watch it - in its entirety - at NOVA's website.

I'll leave you with some still photos from the program.

*Should the link above not direct you to the movie, you will be able to find it here.

Google Earth is Changing Science

2006-08-02T18:33:00.000-04:00

Spiegel Online has an excellent article about the impact Google Earth has had on contemporary science.

Geographers, biologists, epidemiologists and researchers across the scientific spectrum have put everyone's favorite virtual globe to work. They've used the maps to track arctic ice sheets, plot outbreaks of bird flu, and even help rescuers identify navigableble and flooded roads in New Orleans after hurricane Katrina.

To quote from the article:

It isn't surprising that the virtual globe, available as a free download in its basic version, has spread like wildfire. After all, it provides a place to put all the hopelessly scattered information we have collected about our world. Namely, on the earth itself. The digital globe finally depicts everything exactly where it belongs.

Should you be unaware of Google Earth, then you're missing out on one of the most engaging and useful tools the internet has to offer. Read the article, then get Google Earth if you haven't already.

Awesome: Guitar Hero PC Clones

2006-08-01T20:11:00.000-04:00

Picture this scenario:

You're sitting in the library*, bored out of your mind because books are for nerds. You crack open the old laptop to help alleviate your mind-numbing boredom, but alas! Minesweeper has lost its lustre. You're helplessly staring at the screen wishing modern technology had something awesome to offer you.

You're wishing you had your PS2 and could wail some Guitar Hero. You'd say, "Ha! Take that, books!"

Too bad you don't have your PS2. Too bad you can't play Guitar Hero on your laptop. Too bad...alright, you know what I'm getting at.

Dude. You can play GH on your laptop! Or at least, you can play a freeware clone of it. Check this:

Guitar Hero PC Clone is still fairly beta-ish, but runs very well. It looks and feels much like the original, and everything that's so addictive about GH is here in its PC clone. There aren't selectable modes, like career or quick play - it's pretty much just select a song, set the scroll speed for difficulty, and play.

When you download the full version, the game comes with a library of songs you've never head of (except for a few retro video game themes) - all custom-mapped by users. You can get the game as a standalone as well, but you'll have to put your own songs into the library.

Wait. Your own songs?

That's right. Thanks to Anton Struyk's Freestar Hero, you can have a (fairly) simple editor that will allow you to take any music file (.wmv, .mp3, .wav, etc.) and add your own gem mapping to it. Shazaam!

And that's the beauty of this whole thing: every song you ever thought would make a great Guitar Hero track...can be!

By all means, custom map music from your own legally-obtained library and wail the tracks you wish Red Octane had included in the game! Just don't be a dumbass and download or distribute mappings for rights-protected songs. Use your music on your computer and you won't go to jail.

Once you've either mapped your own song library or loaded up some songs mapped by others, you're set to play. You can use your keyboard, of course, or...oh, yes it's true...your Guitar Hero guitar.

You'll need a USB-to-PS2 adapter, but hot damn! Now you can play practically any song you want, any time you want, anywhere you want. You'll never read another book again.

As for playability, it isn't perfect. Using the keyboard to rock out guitar riffs feels a lot like using a pair of #2 pencils to drive home a drum solo on your office desk. But the concentration required to master any rhythm game is just as rewarding and addictive here.

Since you can't hold your hand upside down - like you would on a guitar neck - using the keyboard means your finger placements will be completely reversed. The game is designed to work with joystick/pad input, though, so you can use any game peripheral you prefer instead of the keyboard.

There is at least one other GH for PC clone. It's called Frets on Fire and you can get it here. I haven't tried this one yet, but it's on my machine and I'll be giving it a test run soon.**

I realize that very few of the (3) people who read this blog play Guitar Hero...or even know what it is. But if you you've always secretly wanted to rock, then you owe it to yourself to check the game out.

I assure you that the feeling you get graduating from air guitar to Playstation guitar is absolutely worth trying it at least once.

*Patrick, this one's for you, man.

**Update: I haven't been able to play Frets on Fire, as the executable logs an error with every startup. It's an OpenGL conflict of some sort, but I'm not going to fight it. If anyone else gets the game running and would like to post a review, I'll put it up here.

News: The Dark Knight

2006-08-01T18:20:00.000-04:00

So this isn't really breaking news anymore, but I didn't have a chance to write a post about it earlier. Here's the scoop:

The next film in the rejuvenated Batman series will be titled The Dark Knight. Production is set to start early in 2007, and The Dark Knight will reprise the same directing/writing crew from Batman Begins. It's likely that the movie will feature more than one of Gotham's iconic villians, but as of now, only one has been cast:

Heath Ledger (of Paws fame) will star as The Joker.

The news was "leaked" last weekend, but Warner Brothers Pictures officially confirmed it yesterday. President of Production, Jeff Robinov, said:

Chris'[Nolan] unique vision is what made Begins such an outstanding film and we could not imagine anyone else at the helm of The Dark Knight...We also can't wait to see two such formidable actors as Christian and Heath face off with each other as Batman and The Joker.

I've seriously spent a lot of time trying to think up some funny commentary on this development. Unfortunately, I think it's probably...not funny. I mean, I made that funny picture up there, but that was about as far as I could carry it.

Using Frank Miller's genre-defining novel for the title of Chris Nolan's second Bat-film is genius. I only hope it gleams some of the brilliance from Frank's book.

Using Heath Ledger's genre-defining acting for The Joker is genius. I only hope he brings the same special "something" to this role that he brought to that movie with the knight and the jousting and those Queen songs.

Ha ha! That was a good movie.

Video: Best Geico Commercial. Ever.

2006-07-31T20:30:00.000-04:00

Ahahahaha. Oh, man.

I just saw this commercial for the first time a few seconds ago. And God bless the YouTube - it's on the internets for me to post here.

Five dollars says Burt's drunk as Cooter Brown.

*Update: I've been informed by several people now that this is not the funniest Geico commercial ever. Also, I've been told that Burt isn't drunk - he's just old.

Time Wasters: SnowDays

2006-07-30T19:52:00.000-04:00

SnowDays is a neat way to remind us all that every person is like a snowflake: cold, flaky, and usually found clumped together with a bunch of others just like it.

Created by Popular Front, SnowDays lets people make their very own individual flake, and then drift that flake in a serene setting for others to look at. It's actually quite relaxing and enjoyable.

Even if you're a cynical grinch like me, you'll probably like SnowDays. Check it out.

Preview: Transformers

2006-07-30T18:51:00.000-04:00

Those of you who didn't know that there was a new Transformers movie in the works...probably don't care that there's a new Transformers movie in the works.

Those of you who do know, well...you already peed your pants once.

I know nobody's going to start singing the 80's theme song with delight when they read this. But it's worth posting just on the slight chance that some poor soul missed the news...and actually cares.

Very few details about the movie are available, but it has amassed a formidable cast.

The film will star the likes of: Jon Voight, John Turturro, Bernie Mac, Dane Cook, Josh Duhamel, Shia LeBouf, and a metric ton of other B-through-D-listers (excepting Turturro). And as reported by the huge text on the official Transformers movie page, Peter Cullen will reprise his role as the voice of Optimus Prime.

You might also know Cullen as the voice of Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh, Zandar from G.I.Joe, Mogwai and the gremlins from Gremlins, the Narrator from Rainbow Brite, virtually every voice from every cartoon produced in the 1980's...oh! And also as the voice of K.A.R.R. from Knight Rider.

Yes, you heard right. K.A.R.R.

The man is literally the voice of almost every cartoon I remember from childhood. I'm excited about the Transformers movie if for nothing else than Peter Cullen.

Michael Bay (please, hold your scornful laughter) is directing the live-action/CGI epic, and though it isn't slated for theatrical release until July of 2007, the teaser trailer should tide you over for now.

I've also added some CGI test footage from ILM that will make you pee your pants again.

Video: Japanese Game Show Junk Slaps

2006-07-28T16:32:00.000-04:00

There are 3 universal truths illustrated in the following video:

1) All men fear being wailed in the junk.
2) Everyone laughs at men being wailed in the junk.
3) The Japanese have the most ridiculous gameshows conceivable.

The premise of this particular game is for contestants to repeat a challenging tongue-twister before time runs out. If a contestant fails? SLAP!

Right in the baby-maker.

It's incredibly low-brow of me to post something like this. But you're going to laugh at it.

Microsoft's iPod Killer?

2006-07-27T10:16:00.000-04:00

*To avoid any confustion, this is not an image of the Microsoft Zune. Nor is it the Microsoft Pyxis. I just Photoshopped a screenshot of Windows Media Player 10 from Vista onto a 5G iPod.

Word of the Microsoft "iPod killer" has been spreading for some time now. We've known that the Big M would eventually launch an assault on the personal music/video player market from the moment that Apple unveiled the iPod.

Now, finally, some dates for release of the blandly-named Project Argo music players are on the calendar. According to BetaNews, the folks up in Redmond are looking at an initial unveiling around the end of August, with plans to begin shipping units as early as October.

Microsoft's initial device offering will be the (code-named) Zune.

Zune is speculated to be a direct competitor to the 5G iPod in terms of storage capacity, functionality and size. But there is another player in development that will likely square up against the iPod Nano: the Pyxis.

Sporting yet another code-name, Pyxis should be unveiled close on the heels of Zune.

According to reports, both players will be serviced by the Alexandria (code-name #3) music library software. While no one knows how comparable Alexandria's functionality will be to iTunes, the word is that it will work in a fashion similar to MTV's URGE.

Published reports also recommend that consumers not buy the Microsoft Zune or Pyxis.

Tools: Zunafish

2006-07-26T19:18:00.000-04:00

I StumbleUpon-ed Zunafish a couple months months ago. Then, just moments ago, I did it again. And now you are going to know about Zunafish, too.

Zunafish (I'll repeat the name as many times as possible throughout this post) is like going to McKay's: you take your used stuff to trade in, and you get somebody else's used stuff. It's a premise as old as commerce itself - only now it has a funny name.

You can't trade for furniture with Zunafish, and you can't trade cars or house pets. You can trade DVDs, CDs, VHS tapes (why?), books, video games, and audiobooks.

The system is very user-friendly. If you've ever used Amazon or eBay, then you already have the knowledge necessary to use Zunafish. Where it differs from those other sites is that buyer and seller tender no currency - you simply barter one item for another.

You get to pick the things you are interested in trading for, and as soon as somebody has that item to trade...zoink! You've been Zunafished.

The process goes something like this:

1) Create an account.
2) List the items you're done with and want to post.
3) Wait.
4) Get trade offers and pick the stuff you want in exchange for your stuff.

There is a $1 fee per trade. So you don't get something completely for nothing. But that's a heckuva deal to get rid of crap you won't use in exchange for crap you will use and then trade again for other crap.

Zunafish doesn't charge any fees or membership apart from the $1-per trade. No monthly dues, no nothing. If you don't make any trades, there's no cost.

I haven't personally used the service yet. But that's mostly because I keep the things I buy. Those of you who love thrift stores and tape-trading are going to like Zunafish. Try it out.

*Total "Zunafish" wordcount = 8. Unless you count this one, and then it's = 9.

Impressions: Opera on DS

2006-07-26T18:42:00.000-04:00

I watched this 2 days ago after downloading it via 4CR, but it finally showed up on YouTube.

There's no point in me recapping the review, as that would immediately remove any incentive for you to actually watch it.

Never being able to get a girlfriend might also immediately remove any incentive for you to watch it. Nerd.

News: Synthetic Gecko

2006-07-26T13:21:00.000-04:00

A company called BAE Systems has developed a synthetic material that mimics the feet of geckos, allowing it to adhere to slick or sheer surfaces.

Although there might be hundreds of useful applications for such a material, I'm sure you guessed that the company is focusing its research towards military applications:

The research is still at an early stage but the firm said "infantry climbing suits" could be made out of the material, giving the troops gecko-like abilities.

Don't get me wrong - this is not a bad thing. Because having infantry soldiers capable of scaling windows and ceilings only brings us that much closer to the primary goal of 21st century technological progress: the flying car.

Once armed soldiers can stick to the sides of any sheer surface, we're going to need a way to quickly deliver troops to the windowed superstructures that litter hostile countires. And because we already know that the most effective way to transport infantry to the front is via car, then we're going to need a car that flies and has a good-sized hatch for letting Spec-op Gecko Infantry (SOGI) soldiers out.

Voila! Science invents the flying car.

Such is the hand-to-mouth evolutionary process that brings us futuristic products like Velcro, Astronaut Ice Cream and Tempurpedic mattresses.

Anyhow, news.scotsman.com has a great article on this stuff. So stop reading my crap and educate yourself for real.

Ken Jennings vs. The Jeopardy!

2006-07-25T18:17:00.000-04:00

Ken Jennings is a smart guy. At least, I thought he was.

You might remember him from his 74-game, $2.5-million run on television's Jeopardy! If you don't remember him, then you don't own a television or read any printed news materials...and probably aren't reading this now.

Ken Jennings might be a smart guy, but he would have lost on Jeopardy! a whole lot sooner if there had been a category called: Not Biting the Hand that Feeds You, Dumbass.

Last week on his personal blog, Ken wrote a "humorous" piece entitled, Dear Jeopardy! In it, he proceeds to rail against the show (because it's repetetive?) and even (if you can believe it) America's favorite Canadian anti-hero, Alex Trebek.

Now I'm all for making sarcastic remarks at the expense of others. In truth, I'm deeply committed to the idea. However, if any organization, individual or charitable trust was responsible for paying me two-point-five million dollars...you wouldn't find any of my sarcastic remarks directed at said benefactor.

It'd be like saying, "Hey the Tennessee Lottery! You don't donate enough of your profits to academic scholarships and you also have an unfunny slogan! And you're a cyborg made out of Canadian children! Ha ha! Oh, and thanks for nothing. Two-point-five million nothings!"

You see what I mean? I sure would sound mean-spirited and ungrateful.

Anyhow, I won't spoil it for you. Just go read it for yourself.

Update: Ken has since posted a response to the reactions he received about his Dear Jeopardy! entry.

*Not actually Alex Trebek or Ken Jennings or Sean Connery

Video: Cubicle Wars 2006

2006-07-25T15:31:00.000-04:00

Alright, this is completely and utterly a viral marketing campaign. It's a two-minute ad.

But so was Terry Tate, and those videos are classic.

I'll try to post some TT soon, but until then, I present you: Effeminate Geek Office Battle-Fest 2006.

Preview: Iron Man

2006-07-24T17:24:00.000-04:00

According to every account I can find, this is not the final armor design for Jon Favreau's upcoming Iron Man film.

Apparently, if you are to believe the typography at the bottom of the poster, this is a Stark Industries Prototype of the Iron Man armored body suit.

Woah, wait...go back.

Jon Favreau is directing an Iron Man film?

Er. Yes.

The Fav is indeed at the helm of the good ship, S.S. Iron Man, and there is no trace of sarcasm in my voice when I say that I'm all for it.

I loved Zathura.

You ask Casey, she'll tell you it's true - maybe to her chagrin (I took her to see it on our first movie date).

Favreau has shown that he has the finesse of an auteur director and the sensibilities of a grown-up kid. He's a perfect fit for revamping this classic Marvel hero. And whether you think that's an accurate assessment or not, it's an accurate assessment.

True to form, I've managed to find a transcription of some dialogue from leaked pre-production scripts:

The Mandarin: Iron Man, it looks like you've met your match. It is I, The Mandarin!
Tony Stark: Blearrghh.
The Mandarin: Ha aha hahaha haha aha! Ha! I've found your weakness, and exploited it to defeat you!
Tony Stark: Gachana maaah Iron baaalllggsss. *hic*
The Mandarin: Like Kryptonite to Superman, all it took to topple the mighty Iron Man was Mad Dog 20/20!

You can tell from these early lines that the film will be a heavy-hitter, dealing with tough issues like racism. I can only hope that The Mandarin actually makes it into the final cut.

Click that poster you're looking at for a lovely larger version.

PvP Wins Eisner

2006-07-24T14:33:00.000-04:00

So, on Saturday, the 18th Annual Will Eisner Comic Industry Awards were held at Comic-Con in San Diego. The Eisner Awards honor the best of what has become an endangered art form: the comic.

I say endangered, but as far as newsprint comics go, I consider it a virtually extinct art form. Notwithstanding the noble efforts of a few earnest strips, the newspaper "funnies" haven't been worthwhile in years.

Comic books, graphic novels, trade paperbacks, et al. still have plenty of wonderful artists and writers to go around. There is still life between glossy covers. But for the lover of the 3-panel sequential, little is left worth appreciating...outside of the internet.

The webcomic is slowly but surely saving sequential comic art.

PvP (Player vs. Player) is one such savior. Built from the ground up by artist/writer Scott Kurtz, PvP has grown from one man's pet project into a brilliant body of work.

His once web-only comic is now printed in traditional comic book form via Image Comics. You can walk down to your local comic shop and pick a copy up off the shelf.

Of course, it's still available online - which is where it well-and-truly shines. Scott has put a lot of effort into polishing his art and writing to a slick, professional lustre. He has succeeded where many have failed, and as best I can tell, that's mostly due to a tremendous amount of good old fashioned hard work.

That hard work has finally earned Scott his industry's highest honor: Best Digital Comic.

I don't read PvP every day. But that doesn't mean it isn't absolutely worth reading every day. I just don't get around to it as often as I should. Usually, I miss a few weeks and then have a marathon catch-up session to find out what I've missed.

If you love comics, and long for the halcyon days of the newspaper sequential, then you owe it to yourself to discover (or rediscover) the many fine webcomic offerings around. I'll post another entry soon with more links to keep you satisfied.

Until then, enjoy PvP. And congrats, Seńor Kurtz.

Nintendo DS Sales Rampage

2006-07-24T11:53:00.000-04:00

I've mentioned before that Nintendo is doing everything right. Now, there are some remarkable market reports to back that up...with a vengeance.

As of today, Nintendo reports that sales of the DS have crested the 20 million units sold mark. I've seen numbers that put it well over 21 million. For some real world perspective on that, consider the fact that these numbers account for sales recorded in less than 20 months - the amount of time the DS has been available on the world market.

It's taken the GameCube nearly 5 years to sell 21 million units, and the DS has matched that in under 2 years.

According to 4colorrebellion, that works out to about 1 DS unit sold every 2 seconds since its launch date. And some more financial data from the 4CR article:

Riding high on the success of the DS, Nintendo also announced that their profit forecast for the next year is $711 million, up from $556 million last year. Their profits in the first quarter of this year were up ten percent, mostly because of the launch of the DS lite. Net income this quarter was $134 million, an additional $14 million higher than first quarter of the last fiscal year.

Holy zebra turkeyfish, Tom Nook! Microsoft and Sony have plenty to worry about.

Go Nintendo.

Tools: Tourist Remover

2006-07-23T15:08:00.000-04:00

Tourist Remover does something very cool: it takes your otherwise unusable vacation pictures and cleans them up so you have one perfectly memorable image.

Now all those photos you took at The British Museum - you know, the ones that had forty Japanese tour groups crowded around the statues - can finally have a place in your scrapbook.

All you have to do is upload your pics to futureLAB's Snapmania site, and they'll do the fixing for free...

But!

There is a catch.

The catch is that you need to have taken several (4-5) photos of the same scene from a tripod. It takes multiple input sources in order to make a clean finished image. Upload 5 shots of a tourist-infested monument, and then you get a nice usable version.

You probably won't be using Tourist Remover for photos you've previously taken. But if you're planning another trip soon, and you expect to be in some high-traffic photo-ops, then plan ahead!

Bring your tripod along, or stick your camera on a steady mount somewhere, and snap away. Take multiples on your digital camera, knowing that you can get your lovely tourist-free photo made once you've come home from holiday.

Check out the demo page and see for yourself.

Awesome: Aygo Soccer

2006-07-22T16:39:00.000-04:00

The guys from the long-running show, Top Gear, have more fun with their test autos than anybody at Car and Driver ever dreamt of.

This post is strictly for fun. Just like the Toyota Aygo, apparently. If you want to skip the intro and go straight to the match, fast forward to 4:05.

Update: I just found a second football match between the Aygo and the similarly-sized Volkswagen Fox. This one's quite a bit rougher, but even more awesome. Enjoy!

More Just Letters Nonsense

2006-07-21T10:09:00.000-04:00

Ha ha! I hate to keep harping on this thing, but man is it good for some laughs. The guys at work and I had some quality fridge time this morning and I thought I'd post the results.

Speaking of that, I would love to see screen captures of any funny word combos you guys manage to create! All you have to do is hit:

Ctrl+Print Screen

to copy your desktop view to the clipboard. Then just open up MsPaint or whatever image editor you use. Create a new file and hit:

Ctrl+V

to paste your copied desktop into the file. Save the best ones and send them to me. If I get a few, I'll post them up here.

Get to it!

Trailer: TMNT

2006-07-21T09:18:00.000-04:00

Holy Technodrome! The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are coming back to the big screen.

Back in the early 90's there were rumblings that the green teens supreme might get a CGI revamp with Hong Kong action impresario, John Woo, at the helm. Apparently, that never materialized, as Woo isn't linked to this film. But leave it to The Weinstein Company and Imagi to make a CGI turtles flick happen anyway.

Growing up, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were easily one of the biggest influences on my young mind - at least as far as pop culture goes. I collected the comics, I watched the TV show religiously, I once stood in line for hours with my mom to get Peter Laird's autograph (which I lost...probably the next day).

Hokey as it may sound, I have had a soft spot for the turtles nearly my entire life. Once my childhood zealotry cooled, I was left with an unmistakable nostalgia for the awesomeness of my favorite mutant ninjas.

As much as I'm impressed by the fact that TMNT has survived into the 21st century, I'm not surprised by it. There is just something about it that resonates with kids - and sparks that nostalgia in big kids my age.

Watch the trailer. It's short and not very revealing, but it's cool.

To me, the teaser looks like a combo of the opening cityscape from the animated TV series, the next-to-last stage in the TMNT arcade game (where you have to storm the Foot Clan's mid-town highrise headquarters), and one of those freerunning videos you see on the internet.

All in all, I'm flipping excited. Cowabunga, dudes!

Followup: Just Letters...The Jigsaw Edition

2006-07-20T22:58:00.000-04:00

Dude!

Casey just informed me that I missed the best part about the Just Letters time waster: the jigsaw puzzle version.

If you liked Just Letters (or if you hated it but love a good jigsaw-solving/destroying collaboration), you will be instantly attracted to this. It comes with a disclaimer though:

I can't be held responsible if you get fired for doing jigsaws instead of your job.

Video: Human Space Invaders

2006-07-20T11:23:00.000-04:00

When you think about the sheer amount of time involved in something like this, one of two things comes to mind:

1) What an incredible amount of preparation, planning, and careful execution. Bravo.

2) How many people gave up an otherwise perfectly good Saturday to facilitate some dork's video 210 project? Bah. You dorks.

I hope you chose number 1.

Preview: The Tesla Roadster

2006-07-20T09:23:00.000-04:00

If you know me, you should know by now that I'm a proponent of alternative fuels.

My advocacy isn't based on some environmentalist, left-wing agenda I have. Rather, it's born of a practical belief that the dangers of remaining reliant on any exhaustible resource should be constantly driving fuel innovations in other, smarter, cleaner directions.

Why continue to build the world's economies around petroleum, giving undue power and wealth to violent, dictatorial regimes, when we absolutely have the resources to generate energy in other ways? There's no good reason.

But I'm not interested in the soapbox today. I'm interested in badass cars. And this is why I brought you here:

The Tesla Roadster.

Developed in Silicon Valley by Martin Eberhard, this Lotus-designed tarmac eater paces from 0 to 60 in under four seconds. Its top speed is somewhere in the vicinity of 130 mph. And its direct-drive, fully electric engine redlines at...oh, how about 13,500 rpm.

All this muscle is powered by 6,831 rechargeable lithium-ion batteries, at a cost of around 1 to 2 cents per mile.

Really.

The Tesla has a three-speed gearbox (two forward and one reverse), and will drive the speedometer needle to a comfortable 70 mph in first gear. It'll do every bit of this without making a peep, because the motor is practically silent.

Wait, wait! I have a finger in my ear and didn't hear that properly. Did you say electric engine? Electric?

Yeah, I did. And I also forgot to mention that the Tesla Roadster will give you all of those ridiculous specs - plus its devastating good looks - for a projected $80,000.

In comparison, the Porsche Carrera GT, with a tach redline at 8,400 rpm, would cost you $440,000 - not to mention all the "compensation" jokes made at your expense.

The whole Tesla Motors project is impressive and fascinating. Eberhard is an electrical engineer who developed a portable eBook reader, and made a boatload of cash when his company sold. For venture capital to finance his electric sports car, Martin has recruited Elon Musk (co-founder of PayPal), Google's Larry Page and Sergey Brin, and former eBay honcho, Jeff Skoll among others.

It's a who's who list of this generation's cutting-edge entrepreneurs. If these guys can't figure out how to push alternative fuels into the mainstream, then I don't know who can.

Anyhow, at this point I'm basically just rewriting the already excellent article Joshua Davis wrote for Wired Magazine. So, rather than plagiarize Davis, I'm going to direct you to the article right here.

Once this blog earns me a cool 80 thou, I'll be stopping by a Southern California Tesla dealership to pick mine up. You guys keep a black one on the lot for me, ai'ight?

Opera on DS?

2006-07-19T18:54:00.000-04:00

It's no joke.

Although it isn't available yet, Opera will be launching its DS browser in Japan on July 24th. The US release will follow sometime soon thereafter.

I keep saying how impressed I am with Nintendo's handling of their next-gen gaming consoles.

The Wii seems to have every one of its ducks in a row - from the buyer-friendly price point to its stable of launch-ready games...oh, and let's not forget the flipping Wii-mote.

With the release of the DS Lite, Nintendo unquestionably dominates the handheld market as well. They have simply done everything right when it comes to developing smart, appealing game systems and titles.

Now, to the lengthy list of accolades worth heaping on Japan's rock-solid gaming icon, add some praise for this: deliberate integration of third-party and open-source software and peripherals.

(PS: If you're lost at this point, it won't get any less nerdy from here.)

Rather than explain the story, How about I let Opera's Executive Vice President of Devices, Scott Hedrick do the work for me:

Nintendo came to Opera and requested that Opera work with them to port and optimize our browser for the DS...

Not that porting to any platform or device is easy work, but Opera has done this before and has succeeded in becoming a modular and flexible Web browser. The DS provides a unique form factor with dual screens and touch-screen technology and many of Opera’s core technologies come into play very nicely in this setting, such as Small-Screen Rendering (SSR).

Although I'm a huge fan of Firefox, it's not the only browser I use. My real affinity is for open-source software, and so I have several browsers cohabitating on my machines.

Opera is my second-favorite web surfing tool, right behind the Fox. So knowing that it will be available for my DS is excellent news.

An already secure browser, O should be even more secure when packed inside the buttoned-up DS wi-fi network. It's definitely worth keeping an eye out for.

Who read all the way to the bottom? You're a nerd!

Preview: Portal

2006-07-19T09:32:00.000-04:00

Valve is expected to package some excellent goodies into the release of Half-Life 2: Episode 2.

There is a totally revamped addition to the Team Fortress franchise: Team Fortress 2.

From the screenshots, the character models don't look like they came from the Half-Life universe - rather, they seem to have spawned out of The Incredibles.

But that's not what I'm writing about. Read here if you want more info...

What's frothing my rabid curiosity is Portal. Portal will utilize the Half-Life 2 engine and universe...but with drastically different gameplay. You carry a portal-generating/zero-point energy weapon of some kind that allows you to pick up objects (a la the gravity gun in HL2) and also generate entry/exit portals.

You'll have to calculate the best way through the levels using these portals, finding unique solutions to each new labyrinth.

It's kind of like good old Lemmings, where you have a set task and a limited number of tools to achieve that task. Making proper use of those tools in each situation is the key to success.

Portal looks a lot like Prey, but that's not a bad thing.

Part puzzle game, part Pitfall Harry. I'm definitely in.

Awesome: My Guitar Gently Weeps

2006-07-18T14:12:00.000-04:00

Have you ever wondered what George Harrison's My Guitar Gently Weeps would have sounded like if George was half Asian, dressed like Ryan Seacrest, and played the ukulele?

Well, for the love of Ringo...wonder no more.

You have to trust me on this. You are going to want to watch the video even if you don't like The Beatles, have set fire to your Seacrest posters, and would have thrown Tiny Tim out of a lifeboat into shark-infested waters wearing a dead tuna around his neck. Should you find yourself unable to sit through the entire four and a half minutes, just fast forward to 2:40 and watch this guy wail the solo.

Unbelievable: Yukio Miyamoto

2006-07-18T09:56:00.000-04:00

Great googaly moogaly. I'm not sure if you realize exactly what it is you're looking at. Hopefully I can rectify that.

Most of you are probably familiar with Adobe Photoshop. If not with the software itself, then at least with the concept of what it's used for: Photoshop is an image creation/manipulation program.

In the right hands, it can be used to create anything imaginable with pixels - from stark, solid color graphics to detailed, photo-real images. I use it nearly every day in my professional life, and am very familiar with the practically limitless potential of the software.

So after looking at those images above and reading this bit about Photoshop, you're probably thinking, "Hey. That tape reel thing is one kick ass Photoshop job. Kudos to that guy."

Great guess!

The thing is, though, that he didn't make it with Photoshop. He made it with Illustrator.

Illustrator is another of Adobe's industry-standard graphics programs. It's another piece of software I use nearly every day. But it isn't for creating photo-real images. I mean...not by mere humans.

Illustrator uses vector data, whereas Photoshop uses raster data. Basically, Illustrator is designed to create infinitely-scalable graphics with...hmm. I don't actually think I'm going to be able to explain this if you don't already know how it works.

Let me just try this:

What you are looking at is on the highest order of artistic perfection. What Yukio Miyamoto creates is stunning enough; how he creates it is almost unfathomable.

Please take a few minutes to look at his gallery. Once you click on the thumbnails, you can see the images in large detail with their vector outlines.

Smith, you shouldn't pass this one up.

Update: At Mr. Miyamoto's suggestion, please visit this page to see his newer works. And by "please" I mean "definitely you need to."

Wireless Memory

2006-07-18T09:13:00.000-04:00

HP has developed a wireless data chip that is miniscule enough to be applied to virtually any surface.

This tiny chip could be used to put medical records on a patient's hospital armband, photos of your vacation on a postcard from the beach, or even your ex-girlfriend's phone number and 8x10 glossy on about 450 photocopied leaflets you can distribute around campus.

The idea is pretty revolutionary. If everyone has access to tiny, stickable wireless data chips, personal information might become the new junk mail. It'll be like:

Husband:
Honey, we got the Clarksons' hospital bill in the mail by accident. It's got Dale's complete medical history embedded in it.

Wife:
Don't worry, dear. Just walk it down to their mailbox. But don't forget to save Dale's hospital records on the laptop along with his insurance statements, social security number, savings account numbers, and complete traffic citation history. You never know when that stuff will come in handy, right?

Ha ha! What an exaggeration I'm making!

Video: The 2005 Microsoft iPod

2006-07-18T09:02:00.000-04:00

This video might be dated, but it's undeniably timeless.

I think the title says all that needs to be said. Enjoy.

Time Waster: Just Letters

2006-07-17T14:50:00.000-04:00

Just Letters is an absolutely brilliant piece of work. It's a virtual refrigerator (more than one, actually) loaded up with magnetic letters. You can rearrange the letters however you'd like in real time.

Spell your name. Write a love letter to your secret soul mate (gross). You can even spell out dirty words.

The trick is: so can anyone else. At the same time as you.

The results are hilarious. You'll be spelling your name out, and someone else will turn CHRIS ECHOLS into CRAP HOLES.

They will. Because they did. So I know.

If you can tolerate the juvenile language that occasionally pops up, you're in for the most fun you've ever had with refrigerator magnets. Well, with fake refrigerator magnets.